10 Ways a Woman can become her own #1 Fan....

I've heard from so many woman that finding time and ways to celebrate themselves is easier said than done. Don't I know it!? As a wife and mom with full-time commitments to work and ministry, finding time to acknowledge that I even exist and have needs is a challenge, much less finding time to actually attend to those needs.  Can you relate?  So what can we do about it? I'd like to share some of the ways I practice self-care, and I'd like to hear your ideas. It's important to share with each other because there is more than likely another sister in your situation who is wondering where/how to begin to celebrate herself as well.    

I'd recommend taking small steps and making small changes progressively. My list is not comprehensive. It is just what works for me. Here are my ideas! Please feel free to share your ideas. I can't wait!

1. Free yourself from the guilt of putting yourself first. The idea that giving first to myself THEN to my husband, family, friends, ministry, or work was a struggle for me initially.  What I learned was that the source of the struggle was fear/insecurity.  Their "need" for me and my attention to their needs gave me a sense of identity, purpose and significance.   This ultimately led to a lack of balance at home, work and ministry.  However, I've learned that purpose and significance comes from God first, not because of what I do for Him, but simply because of who I am to Him.  HE validates who I am and gives my life meaning so that validation from others is never needed. Out of that flows everything else I need (time, energy, resources) to serve the people and assignments in my life.
2. Never compare yourself to another woman.  Other women are meant to inspire us and empower us. You were created as God's masterpiece, beautifully and wonderfully made. Don't you dare suggest to God that who he created in YOU is somehow not good enough because you were not created like someone else.  
3. Say NO, without apology, remorse or explanation. If you don't want to do it, say No. If you just don't feel up to it, say No. If you don't have time, say No. If you'd rather stay home, say No.   And do not feel the need to validate your decision with an explanation. "No" is a complete sentence. You don't have to say, "No, I can't because...." If the answer is no, then the answer is simply: No
4. Speak up. Do not allow yourself to be coerced or manipulated.  State your position or preference. Grow out of saying these statements: "It doesn't matter." "Whatever you want." "Wherever you want to go is fine." "It's up to you." Sometimes, it might be true. Most times, it is not.  It's okay to say exactly what you want/prefer or not. 
5. Forgive yourself & others.  Whatever mistakes you made are in the past. They do not define you. Today is always a good time to do something different.  You may not be able to completely start over, but you can always start right where you are and make a different decision. Likewise, holding on to others' mistakes is like building a prison for yourself and sitting inside with the key in your hand. Unlock your own prison and be free.
6. Acknowledge and accept your flaws.  Whatever they are, become acquainted with your flaws/weaknesses and accept them as a part of you FOR NOW. Life is a process of growth and maturity. Where you are right now is not where you'll be forever if you keep growing! 
7. Respect yourself. Develop a standard of how you will be treated by others and institute a zero tolerance policy. Do not tolerate mistreatment from anyone and that includes YOURSELF. Treat yourself with the utmost care and respect. Require others to do so also.
8. Develop an opinion and do not be afraid to share it. Be aware of what's going on in the world and develop well-supported opinions. Be prepared to defend your position while being open to new information and ideas that could expand, enhance or even change your thinking.  Be capable of participating in conversations, but develop the wisdom to know when and how.
9. Find YOUR favorite things to do and engage them frequently.  Whether its spending time out with friends or staying home to read a good book or painting/drawing or shopping (within budget, of course). Discover your hobbies and schedule time WITH YOURSELF to engage them uninterrupted.  The kids will be okay if they cannot talk to you for a while. Your husband will survive without your undivided attention. Make a point to find ways and make time to do the things that give you energy, peace and joy. 
10. Don't take yourself too seriously.  (This is my favorite!) Learn to laugh at yourself. Be goofy with your friends. Have fun! Be yourself at all times and always, ALWAYS believe that you are good enough.  This is hard for women at times because we are always striving to be a good wife, good mom, good daughter, good sister, good friend, good worker...and the list goes on. Remember that you are good because of WHO YOU ARE not because of what you do.  If the little ones don't get a home cooked meal tonight with 3 servings of organic fruits and vegetables or if you can't make it to your grandchild's recital or if you don't feel up to having dinner with your girlfriend this weekend, it's okay!  A friend of mine recently returned to the corporate world after staying home for several years caring for her young daughter. After her first week on the job, I knew she was struggling so I sent her this:

Picture source: jessieclemence.com

See, you're a good WOMAN! Let's CELEBRATE!