I almost lost heart



Notes from my quiet time

¹³I would have lost heart,

unless I had believed

that I would see the goodness of the Lord

In the land of the living.

¹⁴ Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord! Psalm 27

Recently I encountered a period of discouragement and weakness in faith.  Some things that I prayed for didn't happen the way I wanted.  Some things that I wanted didn't happen at all. Still other things have not happened in the time that I had hoped they would.  The combination of disappointments, trials, and mistakes coupled with surmounting responsibilities left me in a place of spiritual fatigue, discontentment and a loss of strength.  It was overwhelming.  I almost lost heart....

Have you ever felt this way? Overwhelmed.  Discouraged. At the end of your rope. On the verge of giving up hope. Just about to lose heart.

I took the time to express how I was feeling to my husband. I appreciate the safety and security he provides as an accountability partner. Right, wrong, good or bad, I am able to lay it all out for him to see me and then speak into me the things I need.  Even if it doesn't always feel good to hear.  He reminded me of where God has brought me from and how much He has blessed me thus far.  He encouraged me to take a moment and think about my life now as compared to 7 years ago and then re-evaluate my faith.  So I did. I wrote down words to describe where I was then vs. now and here's what I came up with...

Seven years ago I was....
Pregnant. Alone. Struggling Financially. Depressed. Unhappy. Unfocused. Insecure. Without peace. Full of mistakes. Undisciplined. Unsure of my purpose. Unsure of myself.

Today, I am....
Fulfilled. Happy. Clear in my purpose. I know who I am. At Peace. Financially secure. Focused. Wiser. Healing. I'm still in progress. My purpose is still in process.
But I'm living my best life ever. I look in the mirror and see the best ME ever.

Wow! I was moved to a place of conviction, a spirit of repentence and a heart of thanksgiving.  I almost lost heart until I remembered the goodness of God that I have already experienced. How could I lose heart after remembering how far I've come???  God has changed my life so much. He has blessed me so much. He has grown me so much. He has given back to me ALL the enemy stole from me and ALL I gave to him of my own doing.  Despite the fact that I have some challenges. Despite the fact that I still make mistakes. Despite the fact that some things are not as I wish.  Especially despite the fact that some things remain to be completed in me, He has proven that if I stay the course, He will deliver.  He has proven that if I stick with Him, He will finish the work He started in my life.  He has proven Himself to me in the past, and He has promised that if I can hold on, keep believing and wait on Him, He will continue to reveal His goodness in my life.

Where are you?  Are you discouraged and overwhelmed?  Are you discontent and about to lose heart? Take a moment to remember His past goodness.  Think of all the ways He has come through for you.  Take a moment to write down words to describe your life now as compared to 5 years ago. 10 years ago.  Sometimes when we are overwhelmed with discouragement and discontentment, we need only to remember where we've been and how far we've come to understand that there is still reason to believe in His goodness.  Writing these things down and keeping them close by is a way to protect your heart and spirit from getting overwhelmed.

Sister, I want to encourage you to keep believing. Even if things don't look like they will change anytime soon, if ever, keep believing.  Even if you think you've made a mess of things, keep believing.  Even if you don't know how in the world God is going to come through this time, keep believing! Sure, things aren't where you want them to be, but remember how they used to be.  Maybe you haven't reached the place you want to be, but look how much you've grown! Look how far you've come!  Keep believing! Keep doing what you know to do...reading, praying, obeying, sharing with other believers...but keep believing because if you stick with  Him, He will reveal more of His goodness in your life.

The way to keep believing that you WILL experience His future goodness is to REMEMBER His past goodness. Remember the messes He cleaned up in your life. Remember the ways He came through for you. Remember the prayers He has already answered. Remember sister! Don't let the pain, discomfort or challenge of your current process cause you to forget how good He has been! No matter how tough it gets, remember His goodness and keep believing.  Don't lose heart and don't give up hope. Wait patiently on Him. He will come through. He has plans for you. He has abundance for you.  Right now, you're still in progress. You're purpose is still in process.  This is not all there is for you. There is more to come if you will just wait and believe!

I still believe that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. 

What about you?

Get Refocused!

In my last post, I warned you that the enemy seeks to “up the ante” in your life and get you off course by sending distractions. Now, let’s examine what happens after the distraction has come.

If you are at the place where you recognize the distraction and you’re trying to stay focused, the best way to resist the temptation is to increase your actual “study” of the Word and increase your conversations with your accountability partner.

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

When the desires of your flesh have been provoked, the best weapon against it is the Word of God. Hands down, there is nothing stronger than your own desires, except the Word of God, and even it has a struggle with your flesh once it has been provoked.

For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. Galatians 5:17

The way to keep from doing what your flesh wants to do is for you to go on the offense and increase your study of the Word. In the Word, you will find reminders of God’s promises for you if you don’t give in. You will find the promise of His reward for you if you endure the trial and the temptation. You will find forgiveness after you have made mistakes. You will find clarity when you’ve made a mess of your situation. You will find comfort that even the greatest of those God used in the bible had flaws just like you and me. You will find YOU in the Word. And most importantly, you will find the strength to overcome your greatest enemy – yourself.

I don’t just mean for you to read your bible. Enlist the help of a study guide, an actual written study of the bible, to help you read, understand and then apply the Word. Start or join a small bible study group. There are also plenty of online bible study virtual groups. Either way, you must find an applicable Word of understanding, otherwise you will be powerless to control yourself, and you’ll find yourself standing in the mirror asking, “What is wrong with me?” “Why am I doing this?”

Another important thing to remember is that you cannot handle the desires of your flesh alone. I often say this but I cannot say it enough. It is not good for you to be alone without anyone to whom you can tell anything. Eve was separated from Adam when the enemy approached her. As I said in my last post, his tactics have not changed. He knows the best time to approach you is when you are isolated, with no help or accountability. Without anyone but YOURSELF to guard against temptation, you will spend too much time trying to “reason” with your desires. Have you ever been in an argument with yourself about what you should do?

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate, that I do. When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. What I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Romans 7:7-25

Can you relate?

Now, let’s talk about what happens when you’ve given in to the temptation. How do you regroup?

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. James 5:16

The best way to be healed and/or get re-focused is confession. A good friend can provide a safe place for you to uncover your flaws, sins, temptations, worries, fears, insecurities, etc, as well as encourage and correct you when what you think and feel does not line up with the truth of God’s Word. The Word and your accountability partner will help you overcome the enemy and get refocused.

They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony. Rev 12:11

Lastly, if you’re anything like me, you’ve had plenty of situations that are a result of your own disobedience. It’s important that we learn from those situations, accept responsibility for our mistakes, but then MOVE ON with the new knowledge that we have learned. Refocusing and regrouping is all a matter of your decision to do so. Don’t waste time wallowing in your mistake or worrying about what happened. Don’t waste time being angry. Learn from it and keep going! The enemy will attempt to distract you with thoughts of depression, doubt, discouragement, condemnation, and hopelessness, in an attempt to rob you of your strength to continue in the process of growth. You must decide that what’s done is done. You cannot change what is done or what happened to you. But you can control how you respond to it and whether or not you allow it get you off course, set you back or make you quit altogether. You can choose not to continue making the same mistakes. You can choose not to let it affect your attitude and behavior. You can choose not to fall back into whom or what you used to be. You can choose to hurt on the move and cry on the way, but keep going!

YOU CAN CHOOSE.

Choose wisely.

When the enemy "Ups the Ante"

up●the●ante  

To raise the stakes; to make something more desirable

I'm going to pray more this year...
I'm going to church more often....
I'm going to change my attitude....
I'm going to leave him alone.....
I'm going to quit cursing....
I'm going to lose weight....
I'm going to go back to school....
I'm going to save more money...

Do these "resolutions" sound familiar? If you're like me, you've made countless resolutions, commitments and promises to change and get better. And it never fails that, whether it is right as I am gearing up to take on a new committment, or after I've made some significant progress towards my goal, or better yet, when I'm just about to get to the end of the process, the enemy always "ups the ante" with a brand new, stronger, more desirable distraction.  Has this ever happened to you? And I'm not talking about just any ole' distraction. I'm talking about a test-my-ability-to-stay-focused-and-committed DISTRACTION! The kind that makes you almost forget or doubt the commitment you  made! How does he do that???

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?" gen 3:1

Recognize the enemy's tactics....do you see how the enemy was able to call into question God's Word or Eve's obedience & commitment?  And despite Eve's knowing what was right....knowing what God had commanded....knowing what was the only choice she should make...she made the fatal mistake of actually entertaining the idea of his alternative as she begins to reason with him.  Have you ever tried to reason with the desires of your flesh?

2The woman said to the serpent, “From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat;3but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.’”4The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die!5“For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 6When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.7Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings.


We are not much different from Eve.  We suffer from the same vulnerabilities that made it difficult for Eve to choose obedience over her temptations.  The enemy's tactics for distracting God's people have not changed! Indeed, he remains steadfast and committed to his goal of stealing your promise from you.  He knows that just like Eve, if you actually go through with your commitment, you just might make it, beat him at his own game and actually receive God's promises for your life.  He knows when you're just about there so he will do everything in his power to distract you from staying focused.  He will up the ante! Your responsibility is to stay alert and focused.There is much at stake. Be on guard for distractions that are cleverly disguised as viable alternatives.  Protect what and who you allow in your environment. 

And lastly, stay close to your accountability partners. One of the reasons Eve was vulnerable in the garden was because she was alone when the temptation came.  Don't make the same mistake! Always have at least one person close enough to encourage you, correct you and hold you accountable.  The stakes have been raised and your purpose & destiny is on the line.  Don't let him beat you!

 In your quiet time, consider these questions:
- How has the enemy "up'd the ante" in your life?
-Are there are distractions in your life that have caused you to become unfocused?
-Are you entertaining the enemy as he tries to convince you to lower your standards?
-Has he offered you an easier, more desirable alternative?
-Has he caused you to question your committment to God or doubt His Word &His promises to you?