Resolution Revolution: My Best

Though we only had a few members of our book club present this week, the conversation was still very rich with encouragement and growth.  We talked about our godly priorities and how one of the hardest things to priorities is ourselves.  It is interesting how women play so many vital and important roles in this world – wife, mother, daughter,  friend, leader, employee, etc, yet one of the hardest roles to prioritize is typically “woman.”  It can be so difficult to make time to cater to and take care of your “woman” – to spend time on the things that give you fulfillment outside of all of the various roles that call for your time, energy and attention.  Priscilla refers to this as “self-care.”  So we talked about our efforts, or lack thereof for some of us, in the area of self-care.  For many of us, with such competing and albeit important priorities, self-care can often fall behind to the end of the list of our godly priorities.  At times, we can even forget that taking care of ourselves is actually a godly priority in the first place!   We just go and give and do whatever it takes to take care of everyone else, all the while forgetting that we are neglecting one of the most important priorities on our list – ourselves.  My sister, it’s the will of God that your woman is actually at the very top of the list, right behind your relationship with Him.  We often think that either our marriage or our children should fall second on our list of priorities.  But all too often, we find out the hard way that this order of priorities often leads to imbalance.  That does not mean that we are to be selfish or self-centered. It simply means that we must give an adequate amount of attention and care to ourselves first before we can effectively give ourselves away to others.  This is how we achieve balance.

In the book, Priscilla illustrates the idea of balance using glass jars filled with a blue liquid.  The liquid represents the sum of our time, energy and attention. The boxes represent our varying priorities.  Priscilla notes that as women, we often assume that if each jar has an equal amount of liquid, then we must be balanced.  On the contrary, Priscilla explains, this is most often a picture of imbalance.  Balance is the result of properly defining what your Godly priorities are, through your relationship with God, and then only applying the appropriate amount of time, energy and attention that is needed.  Balance is also attained by adding or removing boxes according to the seasonal purposes God assigns us. We must ensure that we do not add priorities that are not God’s priorities for our current season, and we must ensure that we do not neglect priorities that are purposeful for our current season.  Priscilla encouraged you and me to prayerfully consider our current priorities for this season to ensure that they are also God’s priorities.

As we wrapped up our discussion, we talked about some ways we can get back to adequate self-care, i.e. making time for friends, getting a pedicure, shopping - whatever you can think of just as long as you give yourself permission to move yourself back to the top of your priority list.  So I encourage you to take some time to think about what gives YOU fulfillment, and then plan a date to do that.  Whether its with a friend or by yourself, make time to do things that you enjoy and that replenish and rejuvenate you.  You are so very important to everything and everyone connected to you.  If you’re married – if you’re a mother – if you’re a friend – the greatest need of the ones you love is for you to take care of yourself, your health, your happiness, and your relationship with God.  As Priscilla notes, the greatest gift you can give the ones you love is a happy and healthy you! 

I hope to see you at our next meeting!


Date: 12/12/2011
Time:  6:30pm
Location: TBD
Reading Assignment: My Blessing pgs 111-126

Dear Nicole

As I get ready to close out every year with the festivities of the holiday season, I like to take a moment to capture what I’ve learned during the year.  I keep a journal that I write in periodically and I like to review it at the year's end.  It helps to remind me of where I’ve been and keeps me focused on where I’m going.  Anything that’s important for me to remember, I try to write it down.  All of my important milestones, memories, mistakes, and moments, I try to find a place to put them in my journal. 

This year, I thought I’d write a letter to my past self to capture the things I wish I knew as I entered the new year.  I thought I'd share it with you in hopes that it will bless you.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Dear Nicole,

You’re looking good! But remember, staying healthy takes as much work as getting healthy. If you take any time off, it will be extremely difficult to get focused again and you will lose momentum.  Being healthy is vital to accomplishing everything you need to do in the upcoming year. You will need your strength, mental alertness and energy to do everything that is coming your way. Also, chances are that if you’re not disciplined in your health management, it is a symptom of deeper self-control issues that will mostly likely surface in other areas of your life as well.  So stay disciplined!

Make time to cater to and take especially good care of yourself.  You are as important as everyone else in your life but at times you allow yourself to slip down on your priority list.  It’s okay to have “me” time!  Make time for friends and other things that give you personal joy and fulfillment.  In addition to being physically healthy, your mental and emotional health is also vital to your ability to take care of everything and everyone in your life.  This means that as you strive to make time to care for everyone else, you must also prioritize and make time for yourself.  Actually, you must do this first and foremost.  You cannot give to others what you have not first given to yourself.  So, as you begin your holiday shopping this year, remember this (you will read this in a book later in the year): the best gift you can give the ones you love is a healthy and happy YOU. So take care of yourself physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally at all times!  There are times when it should be all about YOU!

Be thankful!  I know things are not the way you want them to be right now, but you must master the ability to be thankful and appreciate what’s right in front of you.  Despite what you may think, what you have right now is goooooood! So good! You’ll see! So learn to be content where you are and with what you have until God decides to change things.  Remember, there is a reason why you are who you are, where you are, and with whom you are.  Purpose. 

Make the most of every day!  Everyday God wakes you up is a new day to be a better you. Don’t waste time focusing on yesterday, all the mistakes you made, or what you didn’t get accomplished. Focus on today!  Set a new to-do list.  Give a fresh effort! Decide what you will do better every day!  Forget about yesterday and don’t worry about tomorrow. Instead, stay determined to make today count.  No matter what your yesterday looks like, ask yourself these questions everyday: What can I accomplish today? What can I do differently today? How can I respond differently today? How can I love the people in my life better today?  Today is full of endless opportunities and possibilities! Which one will you seize!?

You will make plenty of mistakes. It’s okay! Your weaknesses and flaws will need to be exposed to show you where you need to grow.  Do not fear!  You are still on the right track. Don’t spend too much time wallowing in your short-comings. Keep moving!  Keep growing! Don’t allow yourself to become ashamed or condemned because you’re not as far along as you’d like.  Even your mistakes will be used by God to help make you better.  Just make sure that you use your mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow. Time spent worrying about the mistake you made or your weakness and flaws is time wasted!  Focus on learning, changing and growing! 

Remember to always look for purpose in every situation. There is a reason for everything.  No matter what you encounter this year, there is powerful purpose behind it.  There will be some tough challenges up ahead. A few of them will be extremely difficult and will test your commitment to everything.  Stay focused!  Look for and find the purpose.  The challenges are designed by God to make you better, stronger, wiser and bring you closer to Him.  If you cooperate with Him, you will have a much more intimate relationship with Him than ever before.  You will see your growth manifest like never before. And you will see your value and appreciation for the things He has given you grow by leaps and bounds.  Although it will be difficult when you first encounter them, these challenges will prove to be a catalyst for God’s calling in your life.  If you need to, it’s okay to get the help and advice of a trusted friend to help you navigate through it.  God has given you godly relationships to help in encouraging you, holding you accountable, and accomplishing your purpose.  So make sure you show appreciation for the people who love you and who choose to bear your burdens with you.  Make time for those friendships and be sure to always express your love for them. It encourages them and strengthens your relationship with them.    

Finally, you absolutely have been given one of the best lives to live on earth. You have a wonderful husband who loves and adores you. You have the best kids God could have given a mother, and they too love and adore you - even if the teenagers do act like you are the lamest person on the planet! You have a huge family who loves you.  You have some really great friends who love you and really really have your back.  And most importantly, you have been given an assignment and purpose by God Himself because He loves you so much more than you can ever imagine.  He purposely chose you.  It wasn’t by accident. It wasn’t because no one else wanted the job. He chose YOU because He wanted you to do it and He knew you could.  He knows you won’t quit this year no matter how hard it gets.  He knows that you’ll stay faithful even when you want to quit.  He knows you will give even when you feel like you have nothing left.  He also knows you will cry many tears this year.  He knows you will feel lonely at times this year.  He knows you will question if He is paying attention. Yes, He knows.  But He knows He can trust you to stay faithful because He knows He chose you and equipped you to endure it.  Don’t let Him down. 

Honestly, I can’t think of a better life to live than one in which you are extremely and unconditionally loved, adored and chosen.  You are a blessed woman.  You’re the chosen one. Remember that.

Until next year! Me!

New Series: Pearls of Wisdom

New Series Coming!

The Lord recently lay on my heart to undertake and share with you an in-depth study of the book of Proverbs.  Contained in this power-packed book of the bible is an enormous amount of wisdom, instruction and guidance.  In this day and age, we are in great need of wisdom! Many times as believers, we spend a lot of effort and intensity trying to overcome and avoid sin.  Of course, this is very important!  But in addition, if we are to live our best life on earth, there must come a time when we also pursue wisdom with as much effort and intensity.   Certainly it is unwise to actively engage in sin, but there are some things that we face that are not a matter of sin but wisdom.  For example: it is not sinful to have friends of the opposite sex. However, it is unwise to have unguarded male friendships or to have any type of male friendships if you are married and this person is not also a friend of your spouse or to have male friendships with someone whose spouse you do not know and respect.  Again, this is not a matter of sin but wisdom because each of these has the potential for harmful influence and effects.  So as believers, in order that we may be free from sin as well as grow in the wisdom of God, we must evaluate all of our situations, circumstances and decisions from a two-fold perspective.

First, we must ask ourselves is this wrong? Is it sinful or have the potential to lead to sinful behavior? Does it contradict the infallible truths or principles of scripture? These are the types of things that are wrong for us all.  There is no gray area.  For example: it will always be wrong to engage in sex with someone other than your spouse.  But don’t stop there in determining if your behavior is wrong.  It is also wrong to engage in conversations with sexual under tones with someone other than your spouse.  See where this is going? So when you ask yourself these questions, be honest with yourself and engage a trust accountability partner.  After all, this is your eternal life at stake.  If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then avoid it at all costs! The cost of sin in your life is too grave compared to the temporary pleasure that it provides.  

Second, we must ask is this wise? Is it what God is leading me to do and is it what he is leading me to do now? Does it fit within my purpose or does it have the potential to distract me from purpose?  These things are usually not clearly forbidden by scripture; rather, they are a matter of the intimate conversations that you must have with God to determine if it is right for you.  This requires a relationship with God where you allow the Holy Spirit to speak directly to you.   Remember, the effects of unwise decisions are costly as well.  They amount to a detour off the course of your purpose and destiny and as a result they are usually time stealers and destiny delayers.  Since we only have a set amount of time to live on earth, we must be focused on making the most of the time we have. We must be determined to do only what God would have us do plus nothing else!  This requires wisdom. 

Therefore, in order that we may grow in wisdom and experience life as God intended, it is necessary to avoid sin and pursue wisdom.  In her book, The Resolution for Women, Priscilla Shirer awes at God’s ability to infuse old words with right-this-minute application (pg 80).  That’s what we need!  God instructed Solomon to pen the contents of Proverbs not just with the Israelites in mind but you and me as well. He knew that in our day and time, we would need wisdom to navigate this life on earth.  He knew that we would not be equipped in our own intelligence and ingenious and that despite our best efforts, it is impossible to do life without the wisdom of the Word of God applied directly to our right-now situation.  Are you ready?

Stay tuned….

Resolution Revolution: Faithfully His

My heart has heard you say, "Come and talk with me." And my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming." (Psalm 27:8)

It's amazing how one book written by one individual has the capacity to touch the lives of so many women specifically, individually and personally.  Our most recent discussion of Faithfully His was as great as usual.  We spent a great deal of time discussing the difference between faith vs faithful.  As Priscilla suggested, we talked about the difference, in our own words, of having faith and being faithful.  One sister shared that for her having faith meant believing God while being faithful is matter of what we do when we believe God.  Another shared that for her, having faith means believing that anything is possible whereas being faithful is the process and actions required to making the possible our personal reality.  For example, we should all have faith that God wants us to experience abundance in this life. After all, it is his promise and we believe His promises. However, being faithful requires that we are obedient in the areas that are required for the promise of abundance to manifest in our lives personally.  As Priscilla points out, having a strong set of beliefs is one thing but...making decisions according to those beliefs and adjusting your life to line up with them is quite another (pg 76).

The question then that you must ask yourself is Am I faithful? Am I being faithful to the people, place and things as well as making the decisions necessary to manifest the promises of God in my life? Or am I waiting on God to do more while sitting back relying on my beliefs alone to manifest His promises?  There have been times in my life where my actions did not line up with what I said I believe.  However, faithfulness requires obedience not just belief - it is a matter of what we do and not just what we believe.  Are you faithful?

We wrapped up by discussing the awesome statements Priscilla makes on pg 80 about God's ability to use His Word, written thousands of years ago, to speak intimately and personally to [us] regarding His purposes for [our lives] right now.  How amazing is it that God knew exactly what we would need today when the scriptures were written so long ago?  He's provided the road map to our personal destiny in this ancient book and now its up to you and me to be faithful in our commitment to study and live our lives according to His Word.  It is important for you to understand that the scriptures aren't just meant to be read, memorized or quoted. They are meant to be understood and obeyed.  As Priscilla notes, the Bible is the tool divinely inspired to guide and equip us for a life lived faithfully and abundantly. 

So I shared with them something I learned from Priscilla at the Going Beyond Jacksonville conference a few months ago.  She talked about her approach to reading, studying and learning scripture.  It totally changed my devotion.  She explained that normally she only studies two scriptures at a time and she uses a structured, practical approach to understanding and application.  First, she sets her atmosphere in a quiet still place and time.  For someone of us, this is hard to come by but since you are only taking two scriptures at a time, you can fit it in anywhere you can carve out a few minutes in your day.  Second she writes down her two scriptures for the day and paraphrases them in her own words.  Personally, I like to keep a journal of my study notes. This may work well for you also. Its a great way to keep a record of your growth and help you to focus what you're reading.  After paraphrasing the scriptures she then pulls out the spiritual principles of the scriptures and asks herself if she is living her life according to the principle.  I typically write down two questions that I must answer truthfully: (1) In what ways does my life line up with this principle. (2) In what ways does my life not line up with this principle. And finally she writes out what she needs to change in her life to line up with the principle and sets a deadline for implementation.  I'm telling you if you try this approach to studying the scriptures you WILL see your life change for the better!  

Now I must warn you...this is not for those living in self-denial or those who do not have the courage to be exposed to the ugly truths about themselves and do something about it.  If you find that your life always lines up with every spiritual principle you study, chances are you are not being totally transparent.  This approach to your growth requires a very honest assessment of yourself when you ask those questions.  If you allow yourself to be transparent and brutally honest with yourself or an accountability partner, you will see your growth skyrocket. 

I hope to see you at our next meeting! Details below:

Date:  Monday, November 28th
Time: 6:30
Location: TBD
Reading assignment:  My Best pgs 89-110

The Monday Rewind: For Sale by Owner

Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me. Mark 10:21

Yesterday, my husband spoke about the need for believers to be sold out to Jesus.  In his message, he referenced the story of the rich young ruler. This was a man with great possessions. He asked Jesus what he must do to obtain eternal life, and when Jesus told him to observe the commandments, he replied that he had always done that since his youth.  In other words, he was already a believer. Then Jesus told him that he was lacking something. He instructed the man to sell everything he had and follow him.  This was not well received by the rich young man and he went away saddened.  Then Jesus made the statement that it would be easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. Some bible readers have mistaken this to mean that a person who has accumulated wealth is less likely to enter into heaven than a person who has very little. In the literal sense, this is a misinterpretation of scripture and completely false.  From a spiritual perspective, this couldn’t be truer. 

From a spiritual perspective, the concept of “rich” is not limited to tangible wealth and material possessions.  While parting with material things may pose a problem for anyone, including believers, it actually is not the greatest threat to our entrance into heaven.  In fact, material things, regardless of value, will never amount to one’s greatest and most valuable possession.  The greatest possession that we find it most difficult to part with is ourselves – i.e. our personal preferences.

Your habits. Your ways. Your tendencies. Your thoughts. Your choices.  Your free will. All of these combined represent your greatest earthly possessions, and at times, you are I can be extremely rich. But what Jesus is saying is that we must sell everything we have (deny ourselves) and take up our cross (His purpose) and follow Him (obedience).  Now, let’s see if Jesus’ statement makes more sense.  J  Have you ever felt like it would be easier to get a camel through the eye of a needle than to sacrifice what you want in order to do what God was asking of you? I certainly have. 

Every situation or decision where we seek to do the will of God requires a denial of our fleshly preferences and for this reason, it is often difficult to sell ourselves completely to do the will of God.  Sometimes we sell only portions of ourselves.  We may give up some habits but keep some attitudes.  We may refrain from sin but give into strongholds. 

Let’s examine Jesus statement again: “sell whatsoever thou hast…and come, take up the cross, and follow me.”

Whatever you have left of yourself in the way you manager your life, sell it!  If there are hold habits, sell them! If there are old ways and responses, sell them!  If there’s any left-over “knick knacks” of the person you used to be, sell them!  A good way to determine this is to take an honest assessment of your recent decisions and behaviors.  If you see more of yourself than God, it’s time for an auction.  It’s time tell yourself out to the highest bidder: Jesus Christ Himself. 

As Pastor concluded, he reminded us that it’s great to be saved, but Jesus desires that we are also sold out.  Certainly being saved is our only way into Heaven, but selling out to Jesus is the only way to experience Him while living on earth.  The Word was written that we might believe and hope in things eternal but also that we might experience and demonstrate a life lived in Him on earth.   

So take a look around? Are you lacking something? Are there things hidden in your heart’s closet that you need to sell today?  If you will commit to selling every part of you that remains you will experience your best life.

Enjoy your week. All my love.

Nicole

The Monday Rewind: Are you a forgetful hearer?

For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: for he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was. (James 1: 23,24)

Yesterday in his message, my husband admonished us to be fervent doers of the Word.  He impressed upon us the urgency in this day and time that we not only ensure that we are hearing the Word through regular church attendance and our own personal devotion but also that we are purposeful and diligent in our obedience and practical application of the Word to our everyday lives.

Too often we take church and personal devotion for granted.   We become engulfed in the cares of our lives and the constant busy-ness that devours our attention, time and energy, and we allow these things to crowd out our study of the Word.  I'm sure you've had it happen to you.  You get so busy that you start to limit your time in devotion or skip it altogether. You have so much to do that you're too tired to make it to church or bible study.  And then you find yourself in a situation that only the Word can help you through, yet you don't have a Word to use as warfare because you've not gotten enough beforehand.  Or even worse, you find yourself slipping back into some of your hold habits, ways and attitudes because you no longer have the Word to restrain or sustain you.  Sound familiar?  That's because the flesh and its sinful tendencies is very strong.  Only the Word of God is stronger than your flesh and its imperative that you take in the Word on a regular basis to manage and control your flesh in a moment's notice.  As you've probably experienced, trying to find a Word in a moment to manage your burning fleshly desire when there has been no intake beforehand is like trying to put out a sudden wild fire with a cup of water.  Difficult, if not impossible.

For this reason, we must all come to the realization that it is only by the application of God's Word to our lives that we are able to make good decisions, respond appropriately at our weakest moments, restrain our natural reactions, manage our difficult situations, break free from strongholds, be delivered from temptation and be freed from sin.  Without the Word, you are powerless against your most formidable enemy: yourself.   That's why its important to be a part of a ministry that teaches the expository Word of God in a manner that is easily understood and applicable to your own personal life and situations. 

Finally, Pastor talked in depth about the importance of obeying the Word you hear.  It's not good enough for us to get the Word in personal devotion or church but fail to apply it to our lives in a practical manner.  A forgetful hearer is one who takes in the Word but fails to activate it's power through obedience.  We must understand that the power of the Word of God in our lives is limited to our personal decision to obey it.  Disobedience renders the Word powerless in our lives.  The scripture teaches us that in all our getting, we should get understanding (Proverbs 4:7).  However, simply knowing the Word is not understanding or powerful because there is absolutely no power in a Word that we do not obey. The power of the Word of God in your life is only demonstrated  through your purposeful and continual choice of obedience.  This is why it is so important to consistently hear a Word you can understand.  A Word that you can understand is the only Word you can obey and therefore is the only Word that can set you free. 

Happy is the one that finds wisdom, and the one that gets understanding. For the merchandise of it is better than the merchandise of silver, and the gain thereof than fine gold. Proverbs 3:13, 14

Have a wonderful week! 

Nicole

Resolution Revolution ~ Authentically Me

There’s an interesting irony about our latest book club meeting.  On a day when most of the world put on masks and costumes to disguise themselves, a group of women sat at a dinner table to talk about being unmasked and celebrating who God created them to be.  It was by far our greatest discussion yet. I know I say that every time, but I must emphasize that last night’s discussion was especially inspiring and encouraging.  As we shared how this chapter impacted us individually, a few women were relieved to find permission to be okay with who and how God made them.  Some said it encouraged them in the idea that God did not make a mistake when He created them.  Others said it affirmed who they are and gave them permission to accept themselves just the way they are, flaws and all. 

I can’t say it enough; we had an awesome time together!

Then we dove right in and took some time to explore our thoughts and reactions to Priscilla’s pointedly bold statement:

You.Are.The.One.

It was interesting to hear the varied reactions to this statement.  In her own words, Priscilla was reminding and encouraging us that God has chosen, set apart and appointed us for this very season of our lives. He hand-picked us to be where we are, with the people we are with, at the job we currently have, in the friendships we have, in the marriages we’re in, etc; it was no accident.  Despite our sometimes wishful thinking to the contrary, God actually did not make a mistake by calling us here - wherever here happens to be.  And so I posed this question to the ladies:

How does it feel to be The One?

I remember what I felt when I was reading it. I actually wanted to write Priscilla and say “hey, lady, no one feels like being ‘The One’ today okay!”  Actually, I’m still considering it. J Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever felt like being The One is so tiring, overwhelming, exhausting, depleting, discomforting, sacrificial, need I go on?  When I read Priscilla’s list of things for which I’m The One, I felt a little overwhelmed.  There are days when being The One feels great! Then there are days when being The One feels like God chose the wrong runner for this leg of the marathon.  Can you feel me?  But the great thing about God is that He chose us because He knew we could and would finish the race. He chose you because He knew you could do it.  He chose you because He knew you wouldn’t quit.  He knew that He had hand-crafted you to be “uniquely suited, equipped and capable of carrying out such amazing plans with such intricate precision” (p56).  Isn’t that amazing? That you and I have been hand-crafted, tailor made, perfectly fit to carry out God’s plan in the earth.  What an amazing and loving God who decided that even though the earth already contained billions of people, there was one missing.  You.  And so He decided to make You for this world to know, love and enjoy.  Then He deposited into you the necessary gifts, talents and unique capabilities that would bless and make this world better because You have them. Wow! How amazing!  And the great thing is that you are already equipped to run your leg of the race even though there are days when you may not feel like it.  

So wherever you are today, be encouraged in knowing that you are already equipped to handle it. Everything you need to master this current season is already in you.  YES you are indeed The One to handle that job, be His wife, raise those children, live in that place, work in that area of ministry, or endure that trying situation.  God didn’t make any mistakes. You’re the one we are counting on to finish your leg of the race.  You have the baton now. Run with it. Because, as Priscilla says, You.Are.The One.  rememberwhoyouare

Hope to see you at our next meeting!
Date: Monday, November 14th
Time: 6:30pm
Location: TBD
Reading assignment: pgs. 67-85 Faithfully His