Practice Thanksgiving

Psalm 77:11

I will remember the deeds of the LORD;

 Yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.

Yesterday my husband shared a very timely message for all believers about thankfulness.  One of the most take aways for me was that we are not naturally born thankful and appreciative.  We have to make ourselves be thankful, and we have to practice thanksgiving.  We have to train ourselves to think more consciously about God's goodness and His blessings.

My husband further explained that one of the places where we can measure our thankfulness is in our attitudes.  There is a direct correlation between thankfulness and attitudes that are hopeful, positive and optimistic versus bitter, negative and pessimistic.  The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. Luke 6:45.

I remember a time in my life where I was so unhappy. I was so tired of my life being the same way.  I wasn't living. I just existed.  And I was tired.  I was tired of looking at the same person. I was tired of hearing the same complaints. I was tired of saying the same things over and over.  I was tired of going to the same job.  I was tired of trying to make ends meet.  Most of all, I was tired of faking like I was good.

I couldn't think of one thing that had gone right for me.  And there were so many people in my life who needed me, yet I couldn't come up with one person who was worried about meeting MY needs. I. WAS. TIRED.  And I was very ungrateful. 

I took God and his blessings for granted.  I complained often and to anyone who would listen.  I blamed God and held Him hostage to MY definition of blessing, deliverance, and lordship over my life. So ungrateful. I was so rebellious in my heart and it eventually showed up in my actions as sin.

Please don't make the same mistake I did.

Sure, things may not be the way you want them to be right now. You may be waiting right now. You may be tired right now. But things could be a whole lot worse!   It can be hard to to remember that at times when the weight of today's problem tries to outweigh all of yesterday's many blessings.  But that's where practice helps you to remember.

Have you ever stopped to think about our brothers and sisters in far away countries who do not know where they will get their next meal?  Do you know what its like to sleep with no protection from the weather? 

In this country, we enjoy many freedoms, luxuries and common place things that others in far away lands do not. We often take these things for granted.  We even take for granted, at times, those men and women who fight on the front lines for us to maintain our freedoms.

We assume that we deserve these things, but the truth is that there are many people who would love to have what you have; work where you work; live where you live; drive what you drive; eat what you eat; rest like you rest. 

I am in no way suggesting that our problems are not real to us.  But I want to encourage you to think MORE about all the ways God has blessed you and practice maintaining a thankful attitude and demeanor.   Don't over look the small stuff. Think on these things too. Write them down.

I challenge you to start a journal of thanksgiving. Every day for the next 30 days, write down 5 things for which you are thankful. Pray over them and submit them to God as an offering of thanksgiving.  Use this to practice thanksgiving. Keep it safe and whenever you start to feel discouraged by your  situations, pull it out to fight your flesh and the enemy. You will win every time.

Deuteronomy 8:18

But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today.

Have a great & HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Because You Trust in Him

Notes from my quiet time

But the salvation of the righteous is from the Lord;
He is their strength in the time of trouble.
And the Lord shall help them and deliver them;
He shall deliver them from the wicked,
And save them, Because they trust in Him.

Psalm 37: 39-40

I don't know about you, but there are times when it seems like everything in my life goes wrong all at one time. Other times, it seems like one thing is sooo heavy that I can barely withstand the weight of it. Then there are times when I'm in such an emotional tizzy that I can't make sense of anything, and I start to make the dumbest mistakes. 

Then I start to second guess myself. Am I really growing? Am I really saved? Can I really do this? Can I tame these wild emotions? Will I break this stronghold? Will I ever get it together? It can be so overwhelming at times to just deal with ME. 

I'm so thankful that I do not have to manage ME all by myself. God has made me a promise.

When I can't figure it out, He will help me.

When I'm stuck in a situation that threatens to overtake me, He will deliver me.

When it seems like the enemy is just about to win this one, He will save me.

All I have to do is trust in Him.

He's not asking you to fix it or figure it out. He's asking you to trust him.  He is not asking you to be strong. He is asking you to remain in Him who is your strength.  He is not asking you to have it altogether. He is asking you to be all in your relationship with Him and allow Him to perfect you.  He is not asking you to be superwoman. He is asking you to be His. 

I know you're thinking that's easier said than done (me too!), but truth be told, our part really is the easy part.  The only thing that makes it hard is our flesh and the enemy trying to convince us that trust in God yields no manifestation.  Trusting requires patience and commitment, both of which will be tried during the process. The question is can you hold fast to your faith and believe with your whole heart that God is working his master plan?

We'll I'm here to remind you that your faith is not in vain. Your commitment to Him is not without reward.  He will come through for you. He will help you. He will deliver you. He will save you.  Just trust in Him and do not give up. Do not fear or believe the enemy's attempt to discredit God. God is faithful. He is your strength. Trust in Him despite what you see or feel. Be determined that nothing will shake your faith. No matter what! Keep fighting. Stay focused. Push through it.  Do not compromise.  Do not throw in the towel. He will come through for you because you trust in Him.

Have a wonderful weekend!

The Gift of a Truly Identified Woman

Following up on his message from last week, my husband shared another powerful Word for women on yesterday.  Digging deeper into the alarming identity crisis of many women and girls in this day, he pointed out an interesting observation about Eve.  Before the deception of the serpent, she was referred to only as woman. She represented everything that was true, purposeful, exceptional and valuable about being woman. She was pure. She was whole.  She was complete.  She was certain of who she was and her position in the earth. 

And then there was sin….

⁶ When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. ⁷ Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. ⁸ Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden…… ²⁰ Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all the living. Genesis 3

Take notice that it wasn't until after the fall that Eve was specifically called and identified as the wife of Adam. Until then, she was simply woman; God's daughter and perfect creation placed in the earth to fulfilled His destiny for mankind.  After sin, God called her Adam's wife, and Adam gave her the name Eve.  This level of specificity became necessary because of the temptations, deception and false identification of woman that would inevitably result from sin.

Because of sin, it became critically important that Eve's identity was clear and specific. What God knew was that if she didn't have her own sense of identity, sin would define her then misappropriate her gifts & anointing.  The same is true of you and me today. All types of things attempt to define us.  Sin, our mistakes/failures, our successes, our education level, our status in society, our career/income level, our relationships, our titles, our bodies, our reflections in the mirror, even our own finite thinking about what a women is supposed to be, you name it. There is no end to list of people, places and things where we seek to find ourselves & our identities.  This was never meant to be! 

Eve was made a woman by God first, and then became Adam's wife and then became the mother of all living things.  Before she was anything to anyone else, she was first God's woman.  Adam didn't make her a woman! He only recognized her as a woman created BY God FOR him. Adam was only able to recognize her after she had been with God!   

Arguably, this is perhaps the most important and often misidentified principle of womanhood in this day.  Today, we have babies while we are young and unmarried. We get married when we are unhealed and undeveloped. We have children out of wedlock and then marry the man simply because he is the father.  What a mess we have made of God's divine order of womanhood!  

My friend, you will never get your womanhood from your man or your children.  No relationship will make you happy.  No man can make you feel secure, confident and purposeful.  No amount of "things to do" for your children will give you complete fulfillment.  That is between you and God.  Long, endless and empty is the quest to find your fulfillment in a man or your children. I know. I've been there.  I know what its like to invest all that I am in a man and into my children, trying to find definition, purpose and fulfillment.  And I know what its like to have it all taken away so that I was left with only God. It was then that I found Nicole.

I've learned through hard and tough experiences that long before I can be a wife to my husband or a mother to my children, I must first be a whole, healed, healthy (spiritually, mentally & emotionally), happy, confident woman between me and God. No one else can give me Nicole, and no one else can take her away.  In my relationship with God is where I find my greatest ME. So will you! 

When you get with God, you will find the real you, without any pretense, masks, false confidence, hiding places, defensive barriers, trust issues, or any other effect of sin.  You will find a specially crafted masterpiece. After all, you're the only you He created. You are His special girl.  He created you just the way you are, and He does not make mistakes.  How awesome is that?!

The Gift of a Woman

Yesterday, my husband shared a powerful message for women. The heart of the message was that the purpose of women in our society is often misunderstood, mistreated and misdirected.  He explained that women in general are not understood enough to truly appreciate the value we bring to the earth.  Without the proper definition, many women are left to be defined by society and sin.  The result is a tragic misalignment with the truth of who we were created to be by God.

But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. Gen 2

After God had created many things that were good, including Adam, there was still a great need in the earth.  The woman was needed. YOU were needed. So the Lord purposely created her. He purposely created you.  He created you and he filled you with everything that the earth would need because He knew that although the people, places and things connected to you are good, YOU are needed to make them even better.  

And then there was sin....

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”  2 The woman said to the serpent..." Gen 3

One of the things I often tell women is that the enemy has no new tricks when it comes to luring us out of the will of God.  There are certain circumstances that the enemy uses that if you and I are not careful and prayerful, will work against us every time.

First, Eve was alone in the garden. Notice the enemy did not attack her while she was with her husband (her accountability partner). He attacked her while she was isolated.  This is still a method that he uses against women today. Because of insecurities, distrust, hurt, pain, sin, flesh, temptation, etc, we often isolate ourselves from people who can provide accountability.  But understand that isolation is fertile ground for an attack of the enemy.  If he can get you alone, shut off from others, separated from accountability, and afraid to let others get close to you, he can use the isolation to infiltrate your mind.

Second, he did not directly ask her to sin against God. He asked her a subtle question about God's instruction.  Just one question.  Again, his methods are still the same today.  Its not often that the enemy will launch a direct attack by showing up with red horns and a pitch fork.  Sure there are many things that we absolutely know and recognize as the enemy.  But there are other times, when he is not so obvious.  Instead, he is subtle and deceptive. He often causes you to second guess God's Word and His very clear instruction to you. He creates confusion by causing the truth to become questionable in your mind. 

Lastly, and this is a mistake that is typical of women in particular, after he asked her a question, she responded.  She responded.  SHE RESPONDED.  How many times have you wished you had never responded??? I can't even count the number of times I wished I had never answered the phone, responded to that text/email, went to the store, hung out with those people, etc.  If I had only ignored the temptation and stayed focused, I would not have ended up in a situation that I later regretted.  But I responded...

This is the same approach the enemy takes with us time after time. He isolates us. He sows confusion in our minds, and then we respond by sinning against God.  And sin leads to an identity crisis.  

Sin creates a distorted perspective of ourselves.  Sin causes us to define ourselves by the mistake we made. It causes us to doubt ourselves...to doubt God...to mistrust others...to run from accountability...to misappropriate and misdirect our gifts and anointing towards unworthy people and circumstances.  Sin causes confusion.

As my husband wrapped up his message, He reminded us that God created woman and anointed her to provide healing, nourishment, nurturing, natural sensibilities and instinctive discernment, strength, and divine management to the entire earth. Unfortunately, sin has caused many women and young girls to become fearful, negative, insecure, destructive, emotional, envious, and out of alignment with our true purpose.  

My sister, nothing is more destructive in the earth than a woman who does not know her true worth and value.  And nothing is more powerful than a woman who does.  She is unstoppable. She is attractive. She is beautiful.  She is confident.  She is God's gift to the world and she knows it!  Get to know more of God and you will find more of yourself. You're the greatest gift this world has ever known, but YOU have to believe that before anyone else will.  Believe it! 

Proverbs 31: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. 30
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Fearless Pursuits

I'm too old.
It's too late.

I'm too shy.

I don't know how to get started.
I don't like to talk in front of people.

What would you do if you dared to believe in God AND yourself enough to set fear aside and chase after your dreams?

As women, God has placed a great number of dynamic ideas, dreams, gifts and capabilities inside of us. His desire is to use them to accomplish His Purpose in the Kingdom.  The problem is that for many of us, those gifts are stuck right where He placed them….inside of us. This often happens when we start to adopt the gifts and dreams as our own rather than Gods.  We then consider our own limitations and become fearful.

Well the truth is that if we only consider ourselves, we should be afraid.  God's Purpose is sooo much bigger than you. It's so much greater than me. It's so much more than any one of us. That is why the only way to accomplish anything is to first seek and develop an authentic relationship with Him.  In Him, you can accomplish everything He put inside of you. Outside of Him, fear will stop you in your tracks.

For so long, we as women have settled for what life has handed us, instead of handing life what we have to offer through the gifts God has placed inside of us.  We often find and lose ourselves in many of the roles we play, becoming defined and often trapped by who we are to others.  However, we are SO much more than someone's mother, wife, cook, housekeeper, or any other title we wear, although these roles are manifestations of the purpose for which God put us here.

The point is not to diminish these roles, but to remind you that first and foremost you are blessed, gifted and talented as God's Woman.  You are His.  He chose you to be His.  He created you on purpose for Himself.  You are important & irreplaceable and believe it or not, you are overflowing with grace, power, beauty, gifts and dreams that allow you to perform at your best in all of your other roles.  And until you become your best in Him, you will not be your best for anyone else.  The enemy knows this, so his ultimate goal is to use fear to weaken you as a woman, thereby weakening you in every other role in your life. 

Fear is one of the enemy's greatest weapons against women. 

Fear stops us from pursuing the dreams that God placed inside of us.  Fear tells us that we can't possibly do it.  God says you're right. YOU can't, but HE can.  Being in relationship with Him is the first step to your dreams coming true.  The enemy will try to convince you that your dreams are meaningless, futile, empty, silly, or stupid. He will try to convince you that because of your past mistakes, your dreams will never come true.  He is a liar!

I dare you to allow God to prove Himself through you. I dare you to believe in yourself. I dare you to DREAM BIG and then I DOUBLE DARE you to be fearless in the pursuit of your dreams.

What in the world are you waiting for????

Thought starter:

What would you start today if you had no fear?  Would you go back to school? Would you open a business? Would you find a better job? Would you write a book?  Would you get more involved at your church? Would you start a small bible study group? Would you take a leadership position?

 

Prayer starter:

Dear Lord, thank You for the gifts, dreams & purpose that You placed inside of me.  There are times when I doubt myself and my ability to accomplish these things.  At times fear causes me to procrastinate and make excuses. Other times, fear causes me to give less than my best or take on less responsibility.   Help me to set fear aside and fearlessly pursue my purpose. I want everything that You have for me. I believe in You, and I believe in myself.  Today, fear will no longer hold my dreams, gifts or purpose hostage. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Fearless Attitudes

In the next part of our Fear series, I thought we should tackle one of a woman's most powerful characteristics which can also be her most unattractive trait - her attitude. It is an unfortunate reality that Christian women can sometimes have the worst attitudes. The problem is that fear affects how we feel about ourselves which typically shows up in how we respond to others.

Have you ever been a "christian" with a nasty attitude?

Fear has a huge negative impact on a woman's attitude. Because fear attacks a woman's heart, it also impacts her demeanor, her thoughts and her conversation. (For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.) This is generally manifested by back-biting, jealousy, always seeing the worst about situations or people, being easily offended or extra sensitive, being mean spirited and unfriendly, and having a quick temper or sarcastic tongue. Fearful women are quick to "snap" or say something rude or mean when their feelings are hurt or they have been offended. In fact, their feelings are hurt quite easily because they assume the worst about other's motives. Somehow it has became attractive in society to be a woman known for "going-off" when she is upset or for having a "alter ego" (otherwise known as the flesh) that comes out when someone "goes to far" with us. We often glamorize it, but my sister, these are traits of fear not strength.

When we have a healthy confidence and esteem, we tend to be encouraging towards others, quick to forgive and believe the best about others (even when they make mistakes), unassuming when meeting new people (rather than making negative assumptions), even tempered, open-minded, flexible to change and adaptable to all situations and people. Confident women easily attract others because they are uplifting, supportive, purposeful & goal-oriented,loyal, not easily offended, emotionally stable, transparent & honest, focused on making herself and others better, and quick to speak positively about others, often complimenting other women without reservation. She is not intimidated by others and she doesn't have to prove or remind anyone that she is confident. She is not unstable in her thinking. Instead, she is resolved and decisive because her thoughts are objective and pure, and her decisions reflect the fact that she knows who she is in God, with no apologies.

Do you have a fearless attitude?

1 Peter3:3-4 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

Thought starters:
Have you checked your attitude lately?
If I talked to three people closest to you, how would they describe your attitude?
If you have the courage, ask someone you trust to be totally honest with you.

Prayer starter:
Dear Lord, sometimes my attitude is impacted by internal thoughts and fears. When that happens, I am not the best representation of your daughter. Forgive me for the times when my attitude has not aligned with Your expectations. Help me to acknowledge any changes in my attitude that I need to make. I want to be attractive others, not by external beauty, but by a spirit and attitude that reflects your presence in my life so that others are drawn to a relationship with You. In Jesus Name. Amen.

Fearless Relationships

This past Sunday, my Husband spoke a powerful Word on the subject of fear. As I listened, I thought to myself, "okay, God did you give him that message specifically for me?" But as I've listened to some of the responses from others, it seems God must have known that many of us struggle with some level of fear in our lives. It's important for us as women especially to really dig deep to expose and offer our greatest fears to God for healing. 

Have you taken the time to think about your greatest fear?

For women in particular, fear often manifests itself in insecurities, low-self esteem, pride or over-confidence, jealousy, envy, bitterness, strife and division. These things typically affect women's relationships adversely.

In relationships with men, we typically settle for mistreatment or for someone who is not even a professed believer, much less spiritually mature. We easily get caught up with men because they cater to our need for attention. We lower our standards on how we are to be treated out of fear of being alone.  Or we go to the other extreme, attempting to control our relationships with men through dominant and rebellious behaviors.

Alternatively, when we walk in confidence through our relationship with God, we neither settle nor become controlling in relationships with men. Instead, we allow God to connect us only to the One who is perfect for us and then teach us how to be submitted and secure. Instead of settling for the one who makes us feel beautiful, we wait for the One who makes us better, and reject all substitutes (even if they are "swaggeriffic" - I still cant believe my husband actually said that word!). In addition, we do not seek to dominate our spouses or control them with our emotional tirades. We seek to serve, help and honor him, knowing who we are to God and him.

Likewise in relationships with women, when we are fearful, we typically distrust and destroy other women. We assume the worst about them before we ever get to know them. We speak harshly and judgmentally about them, often misperceiving them altogether. We jump to conclusions about things they say or do that often have nothing to do with us. Fearful women rarely have healthy relationships with other women. Instead, their relationships are filled with gossip, offense, increased sensitivity, frequent misunderstandings and few friends altogether, often justifying this by saying "I don't do, like or have female friends."

On the other hand, when we walk in true confidence, we understand that one of the greatest joys we'll find is in true friendship with another confidant woman. Healthy friendships can provide affirmation of who you are along your gifts & talents. They can provide a safe haven for us to grow openly and authentically without pretense or false images of ourselves. You're free to be you and you allow others to be free as well. Fearless women have true friendships because they know to attract and be a true friend. Are you a true friend?

As my husband wrapped up, he reminded us that fear is powerfully deceptive. It is powerful enough to create illusions; things that feel and look true, but are not really true; or exaggerated situations and experiences that are true but not nearly as bad as fear makes them out to be. I've certainly had that happen to me!

Fear attacks our mind and emotions to cause us to both think fearful and feel (emotions) fearful.  Fear will rob you of experiencing the best in all of your relationships if you let it. 

Be committed to walking in trust and watch your relationships flourish!

Thought starters:
How has fear impacted your relationships with men or women?
How would you describe your most fulfilled relationships?
What relationships would get better in your life if you walked in trust rather than fear?

Prayer starter:
Dear Lord, help me to remove any known of unknown fear in my life. Expose any areas where I may be operating in fear without knowing it and then give me the strength to trust you with my fear. I know that fear is not from you. It comes from the experiences I have had in my life. I submit all of these to you and ask that you turn my fear into trust in my relationship with You and others. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Emotional Intoxication

in•tox•i•ca•tion
1. inebriation; drunkenness.
2. an act or instance of intoxicating.
3. overpowering exhilaration or excitement of the mind or emotions.

Me: Did I REALLY do that?
Myself: Yep. I did.
I: {sigh} Some day I'm going to get these emotions under control.

So goes the conversation that I have with myself after sobering up from an extreme emotional overdose. I'm talking about those times when I'm so consumed with how something feels (good or bad) that I just let go and do/say WHATEVER I feel in the moment. Then afterwards, I have one of those "morning after" moments from the past when I would wake up from a drunken sleep only to face what I did the night before. Can you relate? :-)

It is a very similar case for many of us and our emotions. If we are not careful, we can allow ourselves to be so overtaken by how we feel that we become intoxicated with the raw emotions and let go of control. Notice I didn't say "lose control" as if we have no power over the matter. We CHOOSE to let go. And I dont know about you, but back in the day, I did and said alot of things while intoxicated that I later regretted. But in the moment, because of how it felt, I didn't care or even consider what the consequences would be. And the more I allowed myself to become intoxicated, the lower my inhibititons would fall and the more reckless my words or actions became. The same is true of our emotions.

Without the proper self control powered by the Holy Spirit, any situation (or person) that has the ability to "touch" your emotions also has the power to intoxicate you if you allow yourself to focus too much on how it feels. And nothing makes me cringe with embarrassment more than remembering an emotion-laced decision. Whether it was words spoken harshly & carelessly in the heat of the moment, a dude that I found myself caught up with because "he made me feel beautiful" or money spent on something frivilous knowing I had bills to pay. In every case, it was my responsibility to control my behavior, and where I failed, there was only myself to blame. Several times I've tried to blame someone else for my lack of self-control. I mean surely if my husband wouldn't push my buttons I wouldn't lose it right??? Surely if that dude leaves you alone, you can leave him alone right?? Wrong and wrong!! Ugh. Oh yes...I feel you.

So I've been on this journey of learning and practicing emotional self-control.  Will you join me?  In doing so, I've had to start with admitting certain truths about my emotional disposition. I thought I'd share them with you in the hopes that they will help in your personal quest to conquer the emotional beast within. :-)

1. My emotions are stronger than I think.
2. My emotions distort my ability to accurately assess a situation.
3. My emotions are not all bad.
4. My emotions are not all good.
5. How I feel is not always how things truly are. Just because I feel it does not make it true.
6. How I feel is not always a result of what is going on immediately in front of me. Sometimes my past experiences influence how I feel about the current situation.
7. My emotions are overwhelmingly convincing yet overwhelmingly deceptive.
8. I always regret emotional decisions.
9. It's my responsibility to exercise self control in the face of high emotion situations. I need to stop blaming others. It's ME!
10. If I fail to exercise self control, it is my fault and no one else's.
11. Now matter how it feels, I always have a choice.
12. God is powerful enough to keep me when my emotions threaten to take over. But He will not fight me for contraol. I have to let Him have control over my emotions.
13. Controlling my emotions takes practice.
14. God will give me PLENTY of opportunities to practice.
15. I can't always control how I feel but I can control how I respond to what I feel.
16. Getting someone else's input is valuable in separating truth from feelings. A close friend can help you make the distinction between what is really true versus what is really a matter of how you feel.
17. When my emotions are provoked it literally feels like I am trying to control an F5 tornado inside of me just begging to cause destruction
18. God gave me emotions for a reason. To nurture, care, comfort and nourish others. Not to destroy them or myself.
19. Without a strong relationship with God and the leading of the Holy Spirit my emotions will destroy my life.
20. I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me, including and especially controlling my emotions.

Proverbs 25:28 

Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.

Stay alert!

In my Christianity, I never wanted to be one of those Christians that was always asking God for something. "God help me pay this bill." "Help me stop this or start that." "Bless me with this thing or that person" (I can't be the only one whose prayed that prayer). I considered myself one of those "strong Christians" that only needed God to handle the "big stuff." (How arrogant is that?) The truth is that there is nothing more dangerous to your relationship with God than self-reliance (in any area). When we believe that "we got this" we often find out the hard way how much we do not.

Have you ever failed in an area where you just KNEW you had been delivered?

What happens is that when we think we've overcome a certain thing, we start to give ourselves credit for the deliverance, rather than God, and then walk in pride (which we often try to mask as self-confidence).

"Oh, I'm past THAT!"
"I will NEVER do that again!
"I am SO over him!"

Sound familiar? But think about how many times you have had to recant one of those statements. The truth is that it is God who delivers us and we need Him to STAY delivered. We will never be in a place, no matter how removed we are from some things, that we don't need God to stay removed. Without Him, we will go back and we will do it again. We will get in the same financial bind. We will wake up with the same dude (or a different one). We will gain all the weight back. We will start making emotion driven decisions yet again. In essence, we will revert to what we are accustomed to doing when faced with a new level of challenge, if we take our deliverance for granted and do not make a conscious effort to continually seek God to stay delivered in Him.

Now don't get me wrong, there are some things that, as we mature in God, they will lose their ability to tempt us to return. But make no mistake, that is not because YOU have become so strong that you cannot be tempted. It is ONLY because you have allowed the SPIRIT of God to rule in that area of your life, and the Spirit in you is stronger than the temptation. At any point where you start to believe that "YOU got this," rather than "God got this," God will allow the enemy to show you otherwise. And no matter how mature you "think" you are, faced with the right temptation and an out of balance relationship with God, you are likely to revert back once again.

So, where God has delivered you, stay humble and always only give HIM the glory for your deliverance. Take none for yourself and do not take your deliverance for granted. It is not you who has overcome. It is God in you! So stay alert. The enemy is always lurking close by, trying to figure out how he can destroy you. Stay sober and stay strong in the Lord. You are only as delivered as your current obedience represents. When your obedience ends, so will your deliverance.

Have a great weekend!

Live Blessed!

Notes from my quiet time

Have you ever messed up really bad? I mean like really REALLY bad? The kind of mess up where you have no idea how you'll get out of it or make it through it because it's just THAT bad. And to make matters worse, you have no idea if God even hears your prayers for forgiveness after you've just turned your back and disobeyed Him or better yet whether or not you've all but cancelled the promises He made to you, but the enemy is loud and clear constantly reminding you day after day just how BAD you messed up!!! I'm glad you're here. God has a message for you!

"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace."Ephesians 1:4-7.

Did you catch that? He chose you from the beginning. You cannot earn His love by your good works. You did not earn His love on the day you finally gave up your old life and chose Him as your Savior. And you did NOT lose it on the day you messed up. He chose to love you from the beginning! He chose to cover your life with Grace from the beginning! He chose to forgive you from the beginning! He chose to die for you despite the sin you commit (yes, that sin too!) He chose to prepare a future destiny for you filled with an abundance of every good thing. He chose to call you His own and to cover your life with the riches of His grace. He redeemed you from the penalty of sin.There is no mistake so bad that He cannot redeem you, forgive you and cover you by His Grace.

"Isaiah 53:5 for he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:5

And unlike the enemy who torments you with reminders of your sin, as far as the east is from the west, He has removed our transgressions from before us. Psalm 103:12

So my sister you can be free from the guilt of your mistakes. You can be free from the shame, condemnation, and depression that naturally follows. These are works of the enemy! Conviction of the Holy Spirit leads to acknowledgment of your sins and changed behavior. We cannot continue in sin and live in Grace, but we can live in Grace and have our sins forgiven as we learn and grow in our relationship with God. 2 Corinthians 7:10 explains that Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorry (guilt, shame, etc) leads to death. This is why the enemy works so hard to remind you of your mistakes. You can literally die (spiritually) from the overwhelming weight of condemnation from your mistakes. But because God loves you so much, He goes to great lengths to remind you that His grace is sufficient to cover even the worst of your mistakes.

"I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sin no more." Isaiah 43:25."

"Jesus, lifting himself up and seeing no one but the woman, said unto her, Woman, where are your accusers? Has no one condemned thee?And she said, No one, Lord. Then Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more. John 8:10, 11."

So, my sister, I speak freedom into your life today. No longer will you be condemned by the mistakes of your past. No longer will you hold your head down in shame. No longer will you be a prisoner of depression or guilt, but you are free in Jesus name, and you will LIVE free in the Grace of God that covers your life.

"Psalm 32:1 blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sin is covered." Live Blessed!

I almost lost heart



Notes from my quiet time

¹³I would have lost heart,

unless I had believed

that I would see the goodness of the Lord

In the land of the living.

¹⁴ Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord! Psalm 27

Recently I encountered a period of discouragement and weakness in faith.  Some things that I prayed for didn't happen the way I wanted.  Some things that I wanted didn't happen at all. Still other things have not happened in the time that I had hoped they would.  The combination of disappointments, trials, and mistakes coupled with surmounting responsibilities left me in a place of spiritual fatigue, discontentment and a loss of strength.  It was overwhelming.  I almost lost heart....

Have you ever felt this way? Overwhelmed.  Discouraged. At the end of your rope. On the verge of giving up hope. Just about to lose heart.

I took the time to express how I was feeling to my husband. I appreciate the safety and security he provides as an accountability partner. Right, wrong, good or bad, I am able to lay it all out for him to see me and then speak into me the things I need.  Even if it doesn't always feel good to hear.  He reminded me of where God has brought me from and how much He has blessed me thus far.  He encouraged me to take a moment and think about my life now as compared to 7 years ago and then re-evaluate my faith.  So I did. I wrote down words to describe where I was then vs. now and here's what I came up with...

Seven years ago I was....
Pregnant. Alone. Struggling Financially. Depressed. Unhappy. Unfocused. Insecure. Without peace. Full of mistakes. Undisciplined. Unsure of my purpose. Unsure of myself.

Today, I am....
Fulfilled. Happy. Clear in my purpose. I know who I am. At Peace. Financially secure. Focused. Wiser. Healing. I'm still in progress. My purpose is still in process.
But I'm living my best life ever. I look in the mirror and see the best ME ever.

Wow! I was moved to a place of conviction, a spirit of repentence and a heart of thanksgiving.  I almost lost heart until I remembered the goodness of God that I have already experienced. How could I lose heart after remembering how far I've come???  God has changed my life so much. He has blessed me so much. He has grown me so much. He has given back to me ALL the enemy stole from me and ALL I gave to him of my own doing.  Despite the fact that I have some challenges. Despite the fact that I still make mistakes. Despite the fact that some things are not as I wish.  Especially despite the fact that some things remain to be completed in me, He has proven that if I stay the course, He will deliver.  He has proven that if I stick with Him, He will finish the work He started in my life.  He has proven Himself to me in the past, and He has promised that if I can hold on, keep believing and wait on Him, He will continue to reveal His goodness in my life.

Where are you?  Are you discouraged and overwhelmed?  Are you discontent and about to lose heart? Take a moment to remember His past goodness.  Think of all the ways He has come through for you.  Take a moment to write down words to describe your life now as compared to 5 years ago. 10 years ago.  Sometimes when we are overwhelmed with discouragement and discontentment, we need only to remember where we've been and how far we've come to understand that there is still reason to believe in His goodness.  Writing these things down and keeping them close by is a way to protect your heart and spirit from getting overwhelmed.

Sister, I want to encourage you to keep believing. Even if things don't look like they will change anytime soon, if ever, keep believing.  Even if you think you've made a mess of things, keep believing.  Even if you don't know how in the world God is going to come through this time, keep believing! Sure, things aren't where you want them to be, but remember how they used to be.  Maybe you haven't reached the place you want to be, but look how much you've grown! Look how far you've come!  Keep believing! Keep doing what you know to do...reading, praying, obeying, sharing with other believers...but keep believing because if you stick with  Him, He will reveal more of His goodness in your life.

The way to keep believing that you WILL experience His future goodness is to REMEMBER His past goodness. Remember the messes He cleaned up in your life. Remember the ways He came through for you. Remember the prayers He has already answered. Remember sister! Don't let the pain, discomfort or challenge of your current process cause you to forget how good He has been! No matter how tough it gets, remember His goodness and keep believing.  Don't lose heart and don't give up hope. Wait patiently on Him. He will come through. He has plans for you. He has abundance for you.  Right now, you're still in progress. You're purpose is still in process.  This is not all there is for you. There is more to come if you will just wait and believe!

I still believe that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. 

What about you?

Get Refocused!

In my last post, I warned you that the enemy seeks to “up the ante” in your life and get you off course by sending distractions. Now, let’s examine what happens after the distraction has come.

If you are at the place where you recognize the distraction and you’re trying to stay focused, the best way to resist the temptation is to increase your actual “study” of the Word and increase your conversations with your accountability partner.

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

When the desires of your flesh have been provoked, the best weapon against it is the Word of God. Hands down, there is nothing stronger than your own desires, except the Word of God, and even it has a struggle with your flesh once it has been provoked.

For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. Galatians 5:17

The way to keep from doing what your flesh wants to do is for you to go on the offense and increase your study of the Word. In the Word, you will find reminders of God’s promises for you if you don’t give in. You will find the promise of His reward for you if you endure the trial and the temptation. You will find forgiveness after you have made mistakes. You will find clarity when you’ve made a mess of your situation. You will find comfort that even the greatest of those God used in the bible had flaws just like you and me. You will find YOU in the Word. And most importantly, you will find the strength to overcome your greatest enemy – yourself.

I don’t just mean for you to read your bible. Enlist the help of a study guide, an actual written study of the bible, to help you read, understand and then apply the Word. Start or join a small bible study group. There are also plenty of online bible study virtual groups. Either way, you must find an applicable Word of understanding, otherwise you will be powerless to control yourself, and you’ll find yourself standing in the mirror asking, “What is wrong with me?” “Why am I doing this?”

Another important thing to remember is that you cannot handle the desires of your flesh alone. I often say this but I cannot say it enough. It is not good for you to be alone without anyone to whom you can tell anything. Eve was separated from Adam when the enemy approached her. As I said in my last post, his tactics have not changed. He knows the best time to approach you is when you are isolated, with no help or accountability. Without anyone but YOURSELF to guard against temptation, you will spend too much time trying to “reason” with your desires. Have you ever been in an argument with yourself about what you should do?

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate, that I do. When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. What I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Romans 7:7-25

Can you relate?

Now, let’s talk about what happens when you’ve given in to the temptation. How do you regroup?

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. James 5:16

The best way to be healed and/or get re-focused is confession. A good friend can provide a safe place for you to uncover your flaws, sins, temptations, worries, fears, insecurities, etc, as well as encourage and correct you when what you think and feel does not line up with the truth of God’s Word. The Word and your accountability partner will help you overcome the enemy and get refocused.

They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony. Rev 12:11

Lastly, if you’re anything like me, you’ve had plenty of situations that are a result of your own disobedience. It’s important that we learn from those situations, accept responsibility for our mistakes, but then MOVE ON with the new knowledge that we have learned. Refocusing and regrouping is all a matter of your decision to do so. Don’t waste time wallowing in your mistake or worrying about what happened. Don’t waste time being angry. Learn from it and keep going! The enemy will attempt to distract you with thoughts of depression, doubt, discouragement, condemnation, and hopelessness, in an attempt to rob you of your strength to continue in the process of growth. You must decide that what’s done is done. You cannot change what is done or what happened to you. But you can control how you respond to it and whether or not you allow it get you off course, set you back or make you quit altogether. You can choose not to continue making the same mistakes. You can choose not to let it affect your attitude and behavior. You can choose not to fall back into whom or what you used to be. You can choose to hurt on the move and cry on the way, but keep going!

YOU CAN CHOOSE.

Choose wisely.

When the enemy "Ups the Ante"

up●the●ante  

To raise the stakes; to make something more desirable

I'm going to pray more this year...
I'm going to church more often....
I'm going to change my attitude....
I'm going to leave him alone.....
I'm going to quit cursing....
I'm going to lose weight....
I'm going to go back to school....
I'm going to save more money...

Do these "resolutions" sound familiar? If you're like me, you've made countless resolutions, commitments and promises to change and get better. And it never fails that, whether it is right as I am gearing up to take on a new committment, or after I've made some significant progress towards my goal, or better yet, when I'm just about to get to the end of the process, the enemy always "ups the ante" with a brand new, stronger, more desirable distraction.  Has this ever happened to you? And I'm not talking about just any ole' distraction. I'm talking about a test-my-ability-to-stay-focused-and-committed DISTRACTION! The kind that makes you almost forget or doubt the commitment you  made! How does he do that???

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?" gen 3:1

Recognize the enemy's tactics....do you see how the enemy was able to call into question God's Word or Eve's obedience & commitment?  And despite Eve's knowing what was right....knowing what God had commanded....knowing what was the only choice she should make...she made the fatal mistake of actually entertaining the idea of his alternative as she begins to reason with him.  Have you ever tried to reason with the desires of your flesh?

2The woman said to the serpent, “From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat;3but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.’”4The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die!5“For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 6When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.7Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings.


We are not much different from Eve.  We suffer from the same vulnerabilities that made it difficult for Eve to choose obedience over her temptations.  The enemy's tactics for distracting God's people have not changed! Indeed, he remains steadfast and committed to his goal of stealing your promise from you.  He knows that just like Eve, if you actually go through with your commitment, you just might make it, beat him at his own game and actually receive God's promises for your life.  He knows when you're just about there so he will do everything in his power to distract you from staying focused.  He will up the ante! Your responsibility is to stay alert and focused.There is much at stake. Be on guard for distractions that are cleverly disguised as viable alternatives.  Protect what and who you allow in your environment. 

And lastly, stay close to your accountability partners. One of the reasons Eve was vulnerable in the garden was because she was alone when the temptation came.  Don't make the same mistake! Always have at least one person close enough to encourage you, correct you and hold you accountable.  The stakes have been raised and your purpose & destiny is on the line.  Don't let him beat you!

 In your quiet time, consider these questions:
- How has the enemy "up'd the ante" in your life?
-Are there are distractions in your life that have caused you to become unfocused?
-Are you entertaining the enemy as he tries to convince you to lower your standards?
-Has he offered you an easier, more desirable alternative?
-Has he caused you to question your committment to God or doubt His Word &His promises to you?