The Gift of a Woman

Yesterday, my husband shared a powerful message for women. The heart of the message was that the purpose of women in our society is often misunderstood, mistreated and misdirected.  He explained that women in general are not understood enough to truly appreciate the value we bring to the earth.  Without the proper definition, many women are left to be defined by society and sin.  The result is a tragic misalignment with the truth of who we were created to be by God.

But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. Gen 2

After God had created many things that were good, including Adam, there was still a great need in the earth.  The woman was needed. YOU were needed. So the Lord purposely created her. He purposely created you.  He created you and he filled you with everything that the earth would need because He knew that although the people, places and things connected to you are good, YOU are needed to make them even better.  

And then there was sin....

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”  2 The woman said to the serpent..." Gen 3

One of the things I often tell women is that the enemy has no new tricks when it comes to luring us out of the will of God.  There are certain circumstances that the enemy uses that if you and I are not careful and prayerful, will work against us every time.

First, Eve was alone in the garden. Notice the enemy did not attack her while she was with her husband (her accountability partner). He attacked her while she was isolated.  This is still a method that he uses against women today. Because of insecurities, distrust, hurt, pain, sin, flesh, temptation, etc, we often isolate ourselves from people who can provide accountability.  But understand that isolation is fertile ground for an attack of the enemy.  If he can get you alone, shut off from others, separated from accountability, and afraid to let others get close to you, he can use the isolation to infiltrate your mind.

Second, he did not directly ask her to sin against God. He asked her a subtle question about God's instruction.  Just one question.  Again, his methods are still the same today.  Its not often that the enemy will launch a direct attack by showing up with red horns and a pitch fork.  Sure there are many things that we absolutely know and recognize as the enemy.  But there are other times, when he is not so obvious.  Instead, he is subtle and deceptive. He often causes you to second guess God's Word and His very clear instruction to you. He creates confusion by causing the truth to become questionable in your mind. 

Lastly, and this is a mistake that is typical of women in particular, after he asked her a question, she responded.  She responded.  SHE RESPONDED.  How many times have you wished you had never responded??? I can't even count the number of times I wished I had never answered the phone, responded to that text/email, went to the store, hung out with those people, etc.  If I had only ignored the temptation and stayed focused, I would not have ended up in a situation that I later regretted.  But I responded...

This is the same approach the enemy takes with us time after time. He isolates us. He sows confusion in our minds, and then we respond by sinning against God.  And sin leads to an identity crisis.  

Sin creates a distorted perspective of ourselves.  Sin causes us to define ourselves by the mistake we made. It causes us to doubt ourselves...to doubt God...to mistrust others...to run from accountability...to misappropriate and misdirect our gifts and anointing towards unworthy people and circumstances.  Sin causes confusion.

As my husband wrapped up his message, He reminded us that God created woman and anointed her to provide healing, nourishment, nurturing, natural sensibilities and instinctive discernment, strength, and divine management to the entire earth. Unfortunately, sin has caused many women and young girls to become fearful, negative, insecure, destructive, emotional, envious, and out of alignment with our true purpose.  

My sister, nothing is more destructive in the earth than a woman who does not know her true worth and value.  And nothing is more powerful than a woman who does.  She is unstoppable. She is attractive. She is beautiful.  She is confident.  She is God's gift to the world and she knows it!  Get to know more of God and you will find more of yourself. You're the greatest gift this world has ever known, but YOU have to believe that before anyone else will.  Believe it! 

Proverbs 31: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. 30
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Fearless Pursuits

I'm too old.
It's too late.

I'm too shy.

I don't know how to get started.
I don't like to talk in front of people.

What would you do if you dared to believe in God AND yourself enough to set fear aside and chase after your dreams?

As women, God has placed a great number of dynamic ideas, dreams, gifts and capabilities inside of us. His desire is to use them to accomplish His Purpose in the Kingdom.  The problem is that for many of us, those gifts are stuck right where He placed them….inside of us. This often happens when we start to adopt the gifts and dreams as our own rather than Gods.  We then consider our own limitations and become fearful.

Well the truth is that if we only consider ourselves, we should be afraid.  God's Purpose is sooo much bigger than you. It's so much greater than me. It's so much more than any one of us. That is why the only way to accomplish anything is to first seek and develop an authentic relationship with Him.  In Him, you can accomplish everything He put inside of you. Outside of Him, fear will stop you in your tracks.

For so long, we as women have settled for what life has handed us, instead of handing life what we have to offer through the gifts God has placed inside of us.  We often find and lose ourselves in many of the roles we play, becoming defined and often trapped by who we are to others.  However, we are SO much more than someone's mother, wife, cook, housekeeper, or any other title we wear, although these roles are manifestations of the purpose for which God put us here.

The point is not to diminish these roles, but to remind you that first and foremost you are blessed, gifted and talented as God's Woman.  You are His.  He chose you to be His.  He created you on purpose for Himself.  You are important & irreplaceable and believe it or not, you are overflowing with grace, power, beauty, gifts and dreams that allow you to perform at your best in all of your other roles.  And until you become your best in Him, you will not be your best for anyone else.  The enemy knows this, so his ultimate goal is to use fear to weaken you as a woman, thereby weakening you in every other role in your life. 

Fear is one of the enemy's greatest weapons against women. 

Fear stops us from pursuing the dreams that God placed inside of us.  Fear tells us that we can't possibly do it.  God says you're right. YOU can't, but HE can.  Being in relationship with Him is the first step to your dreams coming true.  The enemy will try to convince you that your dreams are meaningless, futile, empty, silly, or stupid. He will try to convince you that because of your past mistakes, your dreams will never come true.  He is a liar!

I dare you to allow God to prove Himself through you. I dare you to believe in yourself. I dare you to DREAM BIG and then I DOUBLE DARE you to be fearless in the pursuit of your dreams.

What in the world are you waiting for????

Thought starter:

What would you start today if you had no fear?  Would you go back to school? Would you open a business? Would you find a better job? Would you write a book?  Would you get more involved at your church? Would you start a small bible study group? Would you take a leadership position?

 

Prayer starter:

Dear Lord, thank You for the gifts, dreams & purpose that You placed inside of me.  There are times when I doubt myself and my ability to accomplish these things.  At times fear causes me to procrastinate and make excuses. Other times, fear causes me to give less than my best or take on less responsibility.   Help me to set fear aside and fearlessly pursue my purpose. I want everything that You have for me. I believe in You, and I believe in myself.  Today, fear will no longer hold my dreams, gifts or purpose hostage. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Fearless Attitudes

In the next part of our Fear series, I thought we should tackle one of a woman's most powerful characteristics which can also be her most unattractive trait - her attitude. It is an unfortunate reality that Christian women can sometimes have the worst attitudes. The problem is that fear affects how we feel about ourselves which typically shows up in how we respond to others.

Have you ever been a "christian" with a nasty attitude?

Fear has a huge negative impact on a woman's attitude. Because fear attacks a woman's heart, it also impacts her demeanor, her thoughts and her conversation. (For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.) This is generally manifested by back-biting, jealousy, always seeing the worst about situations or people, being easily offended or extra sensitive, being mean spirited and unfriendly, and having a quick temper or sarcastic tongue. Fearful women are quick to "snap" or say something rude or mean when their feelings are hurt or they have been offended. In fact, their feelings are hurt quite easily because they assume the worst about other's motives. Somehow it has became attractive in society to be a woman known for "going-off" when she is upset or for having a "alter ego" (otherwise known as the flesh) that comes out when someone "goes to far" with us. We often glamorize it, but my sister, these are traits of fear not strength.

When we have a healthy confidence and esteem, we tend to be encouraging towards others, quick to forgive and believe the best about others (even when they make mistakes), unassuming when meeting new people (rather than making negative assumptions), even tempered, open-minded, flexible to change and adaptable to all situations and people. Confident women easily attract others because they are uplifting, supportive, purposeful & goal-oriented,loyal, not easily offended, emotionally stable, transparent & honest, focused on making herself and others better, and quick to speak positively about others, often complimenting other women without reservation. She is not intimidated by others and she doesn't have to prove or remind anyone that she is confident. She is not unstable in her thinking. Instead, she is resolved and decisive because her thoughts are objective and pure, and her decisions reflect the fact that she knows who she is in God, with no apologies.

Do you have a fearless attitude?

1 Peter3:3-4 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

Thought starters:
Have you checked your attitude lately?
If I talked to three people closest to you, how would they describe your attitude?
If you have the courage, ask someone you trust to be totally honest with you.

Prayer starter:
Dear Lord, sometimes my attitude is impacted by internal thoughts and fears. When that happens, I am not the best representation of your daughter. Forgive me for the times when my attitude has not aligned with Your expectations. Help me to acknowledge any changes in my attitude that I need to make. I want to be attractive others, not by external beauty, but by a spirit and attitude that reflects your presence in my life so that others are drawn to a relationship with You. In Jesus Name. Amen.

Fearless Relationships

This past Sunday, my Husband spoke a powerful Word on the subject of fear. As I listened, I thought to myself, "okay, God did you give him that message specifically for me?" But as I've listened to some of the responses from others, it seems God must have known that many of us struggle with some level of fear in our lives. It's important for us as women especially to really dig deep to expose and offer our greatest fears to God for healing. 

Have you taken the time to think about your greatest fear?

For women in particular, fear often manifests itself in insecurities, low-self esteem, pride or over-confidence, jealousy, envy, bitterness, strife and division. These things typically affect women's relationships adversely.

In relationships with men, we typically settle for mistreatment or for someone who is not even a professed believer, much less spiritually mature. We easily get caught up with men because they cater to our need for attention. We lower our standards on how we are to be treated out of fear of being alone.  Or we go to the other extreme, attempting to control our relationships with men through dominant and rebellious behaviors.

Alternatively, when we walk in confidence through our relationship with God, we neither settle nor become controlling in relationships with men. Instead, we allow God to connect us only to the One who is perfect for us and then teach us how to be submitted and secure. Instead of settling for the one who makes us feel beautiful, we wait for the One who makes us better, and reject all substitutes (even if they are "swaggeriffic" - I still cant believe my husband actually said that word!). In addition, we do not seek to dominate our spouses or control them with our emotional tirades. We seek to serve, help and honor him, knowing who we are to God and him.

Likewise in relationships with women, when we are fearful, we typically distrust and destroy other women. We assume the worst about them before we ever get to know them. We speak harshly and judgmentally about them, often misperceiving them altogether. We jump to conclusions about things they say or do that often have nothing to do with us. Fearful women rarely have healthy relationships with other women. Instead, their relationships are filled with gossip, offense, increased sensitivity, frequent misunderstandings and few friends altogether, often justifying this by saying "I don't do, like or have female friends."

On the other hand, when we walk in true confidence, we understand that one of the greatest joys we'll find is in true friendship with another confidant woman. Healthy friendships can provide affirmation of who you are along your gifts & talents. They can provide a safe haven for us to grow openly and authentically without pretense or false images of ourselves. You're free to be you and you allow others to be free as well. Fearless women have true friendships because they know to attract and be a true friend. Are you a true friend?

As my husband wrapped up, he reminded us that fear is powerfully deceptive. It is powerful enough to create illusions; things that feel and look true, but are not really true; or exaggerated situations and experiences that are true but not nearly as bad as fear makes them out to be. I've certainly had that happen to me!

Fear attacks our mind and emotions to cause us to both think fearful and feel (emotions) fearful.  Fear will rob you of experiencing the best in all of your relationships if you let it. 

Be committed to walking in trust and watch your relationships flourish!

Thought starters:
How has fear impacted your relationships with men or women?
How would you describe your most fulfilled relationships?
What relationships would get better in your life if you walked in trust rather than fear?

Prayer starter:
Dear Lord, help me to remove any known of unknown fear in my life. Expose any areas where I may be operating in fear without knowing it and then give me the strength to trust you with my fear. I know that fear is not from you. It comes from the experiences I have had in my life. I submit all of these to you and ask that you turn my fear into trust in my relationship with You and others. In Jesus' Name. Amen.