Fearless Relationships

This past Sunday, my Husband spoke a powerful Word on the subject of fear. As I listened, I thought to myself, "okay, God did you give him that message specifically for me?" But as I've listened to some of the responses from others, it seems God must have known that many of us struggle with some level of fear in our lives. It's important for us as women especially to really dig deep to expose and offer our greatest fears to God for healing. 

Have you taken the time to think about your greatest fear?

For women in particular, fear often manifests itself in insecurities, low-self esteem, pride or over-confidence, jealousy, envy, bitterness, strife and division. These things typically affect women's relationships adversely.

In relationships with men, we typically settle for mistreatment or for someone who is not even a professed believer, much less spiritually mature. We easily get caught up with men because they cater to our need for attention. We lower our standards on how we are to be treated out of fear of being alone.  Or we go to the other extreme, attempting to control our relationships with men through dominant and rebellious behaviors.

Alternatively, when we walk in confidence through our relationship with God, we neither settle nor become controlling in relationships with men. Instead, we allow God to connect us only to the One who is perfect for us and then teach us how to be submitted and secure. Instead of settling for the one who makes us feel beautiful, we wait for the One who makes us better, and reject all substitutes (even if they are "swaggeriffic" - I still cant believe my husband actually said that word!). In addition, we do not seek to dominate our spouses or control them with our emotional tirades. We seek to serve, help and honor him, knowing who we are to God and him.

Likewise in relationships with women, when we are fearful, we typically distrust and destroy other women. We assume the worst about them before we ever get to know them. We speak harshly and judgmentally about them, often misperceiving them altogether. We jump to conclusions about things they say or do that often have nothing to do with us. Fearful women rarely have healthy relationships with other women. Instead, their relationships are filled with gossip, offense, increased sensitivity, frequent misunderstandings and few friends altogether, often justifying this by saying "I don't do, like or have female friends."

On the other hand, when we walk in true confidence, we understand that one of the greatest joys we'll find is in true friendship with another confidant woman. Healthy friendships can provide affirmation of who you are along your gifts & talents. They can provide a safe haven for us to grow openly and authentically without pretense or false images of ourselves. You're free to be you and you allow others to be free as well. Fearless women have true friendships because they know to attract and be a true friend. Are you a true friend?

As my husband wrapped up, he reminded us that fear is powerfully deceptive. It is powerful enough to create illusions; things that feel and look true, but are not really true; or exaggerated situations and experiences that are true but not nearly as bad as fear makes them out to be. I've certainly had that happen to me!

Fear attacks our mind and emotions to cause us to both think fearful and feel (emotions) fearful.  Fear will rob you of experiencing the best in all of your relationships if you let it. 

Be committed to walking in trust and watch your relationships flourish!

Thought starters:
How has fear impacted your relationships with men or women?
How would you describe your most fulfilled relationships?
What relationships would get better in your life if you walked in trust rather than fear?

Prayer starter:
Dear Lord, help me to remove any known of unknown fear in my life. Expose any areas where I may be operating in fear without knowing it and then give me the strength to trust you with my fear. I know that fear is not from you. It comes from the experiences I have had in my life. I submit all of these to you and ask that you turn my fear into trust in my relationship with You and others. In Jesus' Name. Amen.