My State of the Woman Address

Turn on your t.v. and you will be inundated with reality shows depicting women at their worse. Just five minutes of watching any of these shows and you’ll realize that the portrayal and perception of women in our society is poor bad horrible deplorable atrocious. 

Despite their increasing popularity, most of these shows are overrun with women back-biting, fighting, cursing, competing with each other, and doing all manner of things to get a man’s attention.  And while a good majority of it is scripted, there is a degree of “reality” that speaks volumes about women, their ability to get along and exactly how society views us.

Think about it…

Why is it so entertaining to watch women mistreat themselves and each other?

Why is it that the most popular “characters” are those who behave the worst?

So what has caused this decline in the respect for women?  Well partially, we have.

Through our own behaviors that indicate a lack of SELF respect, we have helped to shape this perspective.  Fatherlessness and abuse, the top two reasons that women fail to develop a healthy self-esteem, are at an all time high in our society.

This has led to an increasing number of women who are confused about who they are and how valuable they are in our world.  Watching this play out, not only on TV, but in the lives of women and girls in our communities is saddening. 

Do you really know your own value and worth?  Self-respect starts with how we treat ourselves and that is a direct reflection of how we value ourselves.  The lack of proper value shows up in a number of ways in women:

ü        Insecurity

ü        Jealousy

ü        Selfishness

ü        Pride

ü        Comparison

I’m sure most of us have read Proverbs 31. Most of us could quote a good majority of it.  But have you really allowed it to penetrate your mind, heart & soul. Here’s just a nugget of what it says about you:

ü        She is worth far more than rubies.  (Rubies are pretty valuable!)

ü        Her husband lacks nothing of value. (Pay attention wives!)

ü        She is clothed with strength and dignity (You’re stronger than you think!)

ü        She speaks with wisdom (It’s inside of you!)

Does this sound anything like what is depicted on fake-reality TV? OMG No!

But the more important question is does it sound anything like what is reflected in your everyday life?  This is what God has said about you! Does your self-reflection fit His description? 

A woman who does not know her true value and worth is dangerous.  She is capable of destroying everything in her path…her relationships, her friendships, her blessings, and most namely herself.

More than anyone else will, SHE will degrade herself. SHE will belittle herself. SHE will disrespect herself.  And when it comes to men, she will trade her rubies for a few sweet words and morning text messages, with nothing more.  YOU deserve more than that. You’re worth more than that but first YOU must believe it.

And lastly, one of the greatest gifts God gave women that the enemy attempts to destroy (successfully at times) is relationships with other women.  These can be the greatest of friendships filled with laughter, love and ride-or-die sisterhood.  Or they can be the most vicious, hurtful, heart-breaking experiences you’ve ever had.   

In my experiences, I’ve learned that the vast majority of times, women do not intend to hurt each other.  We only intend to escape our own pain and feel better.  However, because we are so emotional, if we ever get into a vulnerable place, we are often incapable of giving the proper amount of consideration to the impact of our behavior on others. 

It’s how women end up in relationship with someone else’s spouse. It’s how we end up sabotaging and tearing down another woman although we barely know her. It’s how we so easily find fault but rarely acknowledge the gem that God placed in other women. 

If you ever find yourself feeling “some kinda way” about another woman, stop and look internally.   Almost always, the problem or offense starts within.

It’s rarely about her.

It’s always about you.

So what are we to do about society’s perception and portrayal of women?  Here is my personal commitment. I’d love to hear yours.

ü        Refuse to settle

ü        Never compromise

ü        Keep it classy

ü        Support other women.

ü        Define your own beauty and style. 

ü        Dress your purpose; not your flesh

ü        Don’t support shows that degrade women

ü        Require a man to be a godly man or hit the road.

ü        Be careful what you post on social media.

And lastly, accept whole-heartedly that there is nothing you can do that will cause God to change how He feels about you.  Our bad behaviors will certainly invoke His discipline, as with any loving Father. But there is nothing so bad that you have ever done that would change how precious you are to Him.  

Don’t ever allow yourself to ever think that He’s not listening, not paying attention or not concerned about everything that concerns you.  I might think I’m His favorite (for real, I do), but you’re His babygirl.  Let Him love you and remind you who you are to Him.

Many women do noble things, but YOU surpass them all. 

Remember who you are.

How I faced my fears, found my purpose and unlocked my greatest life ever!

Isn’t this what we all want?? To overcome life's obstacles and live the life God intended.

Isn’t that the purpose? 

Yes, indeed!

You were not created to meander through life without purpose. You were created to enjoy life and the purposeful things in it.

You were created to experience the full promises of God’s blessings, and Ohhhhh are they great, honey! His blessings! His Promises! They are beyond your wildest dreams.

But first things first… 

Facing my fears started with an honest evaluation of myself and my behaviors.  Why do I do certain things? Why do I respond certain ways?  Why do I have certain habits? What are my emotional triggers and why?

I had to open myself up to the scrutiny of the Holy Spirit and admit that I had several deep rooted fears in my life that had caused me to compromise my standards and settle for less than God’s best.

Fear is the root of compromise!

Wherever you find yourself compromising your standards and the Will/Word of God in your life, the root cause is fear.  It takes courage to trace the seed of the root so that you can confront it and be healed in that area but you can do it.  You cannot pretend it doesn’t exist and simply pray for healing.  You must uproot fear by confronting it with truth.  

For me, I lived with a fear of abandonment that was deposited when my parents divorced and my father moved away.   While they have since reconciled and remarried, I carried this fear long after this occurred and it led to several poor relationships with men where I allowed myself to be mistreated.  

For a long time I blamed men, but the problem was me. I allowed it. The issue with relationships in our current society is not that there are not enough good men.  The problem is that there are not enough women who know exactly who they are and refuse to be treated in any way that does not match up with their divine worth & value.

So I had to go on the journey of finding myself, and boy was that a whirlwind! I must have a tried everything….everything except the One thing.  I did everything but totally submit myself to God. Oh, I submitted parts of myself, and I was still so unhappy with my life.  What was missing was purpose. Without purpose, we are all left to chase what seems right and good for us.

Prov 16:25 There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it is the way of destruction.

The difference between what seems right and what is right is Purpose.  You can only find purpose in a submitted relationship with God. Not partially submitted, but totally unashamed and unbridled submission to God. Now, I can tell you that this is not a “good-looking” life in the beginning.  

When I decided to “get real” with God, I had to expose everything, and let me tell you girl, it was NOT a pretty sight. I had lied and deceived myself about myself for so long, that not even I recognized the person who sat before God crying, “Here I am, help me.” But I did it. 

I exposed everything to Him. I admitted everything to Him. I stopped pretending I was healed. I stopped saying I was confident. I stopped believing I didn’t need anyone.  I stopped thinking I was strong.  I stopped accepting the life I had.  I was desperate for the life He promised.  I wanted it bad.  And then He gave it to me.

Jeremiah 18:4
Then I went down to the potter's house, and there he was, making something on the wheel. But the vessel that he was making of clay was spoiled in the hand of the potter; so he remade it into another vessel, as it pleased the potter to make.

You see, I wanted to LOVE my life. I wanted to love myself. I needed a new me because the old me just wasn’t good enough anymore.  I presented myself spoiled in His Hands and it pleased Him to remake me.  Did you catch that? It pleased Him to remake me.

If you’ve allowed yourself to think you’ve gone too far or veered too far off course or gotten so far off track or messed up so bad that you are spoiled, let me encourage you! It’s okay!  He is waiting to remake you. He is anxious to remake you.

Maybe you’ve found yourself in a compromised situation and can’t find your way out.  
Maybe you’re stuck in a relationship and don’t know how to get out.

Maybe you’ve given in to your flesh driven desires for so long that you’re unsure how to stop.

Maybe you’ve stopped spending intimate time with Him the way you should.

Maybe you’ve convinced yourself that as a Christian, you don’t need church and the fellowship of other believers.
Maybe you've gotten tired of the religious rituals of church, so you’ve stopped going altogether.

Maybe you’ve slacked up on your commitment to God. Maybe you’ve completely abandoned it.

Wherever you are…its okay! He is waiting for you!  But you must present yourself to Him. HE is the key, and he is waiting to give you the life you’ve never dreamed of! Not the one you’ve always dreamed of, but the one you could never imagine because you’re not capable of thinking about your life the way He does.

When I allowed myself to be open and exposed before Him, He gave me the greatest gift ever…Himself. He didn’t give me stuff. He didn’t give me a stress-free journey.  He gave me HIM, and in giving me HIM, he also gave me….well, ME.

In Him, I found my purpose. This is it. The words and letters on this page is why my life matters.  He helped me to see that everything I had gone through, all the pain, all the tears, all the mistakes, all the fears, all the victories, all of it, good and bad, was for this….so that I could share with you my path, in hopes that you will use it and realize that you are only once decision away from finding your own.

Genesis 50:20 You meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive. 

And now the life I live is filled with joy & peace. Never a dull moment with a great Hubby & five kiddos, I get to live the life He promised.  In addition to loving the “remade” me like never before, I get to love a great guy and be a mom to great sons & daughters.  It’s amazing! 

Some days I still can’t believe He did it, but He did.  He did it for ME….little ol’ me.  I’m not special (well I do sometimes think I’m His favorite).  But I can tell you that if he can remake this lump of clay, then He can remake anyone.  

You have access to the Key. All you have to do is use it to unlock your greatest life ever.  

Go get it girl!

The quest for Work~Life balance!

As we continue our theme of self-discovery, I find it pertinent to cover an area that often gives women a frustrating challenge.

The ever elusive
Work/Life Balance

If you have been afforded the wonderful opportunity to stay home and raise your children full-time, you should fully embrace your decision to invest your gifts & talents into being the CEO of your home.  Arguably, work/life balance can be even more challenging when your work & home life are one! If you have chosen to work outside of the home, then you should fully embrace your decision to utilize the gifts & talents you were given to pursue your dreams.

As a woman who works outside of the home, I’ve had my share of struggles with managing my responsibilities at home, work and ministry in a manner that provides the necessary attention to each of these areas as well as to my own personal needs.  What I’ve learned is that without keeping these things in the right balance, you're left with feelings of guilt, selfishness, insecurity, and inadequacy.

In a previous post about ways to become your own #1 fan (read here), the first thing I mention is freedom from condemnation and guilt.  You should never feel guilty for having ambitions and career or educational goals.  Wanting a successful career does not make you any less of a woman, wife, or mother.

Neither does putting in the hard work and extra effort to become successful mean that your family has to take a back seat.  Nevertheless, many women struggle to find and maintain the right balance between their own personal goals of education, career & entrepreneurship and their responsibilities in their home as a wife and/or mother.

Maintaining balance is not a matter of allocating equal time to the priorities in your life. Rather, it is a matter of allocating adequate time to the priorities in your life. Adequate time is defined and allocated according to purpose. It is not defined by the person, place or thing itself. So, it doesn't matter who or what it is that wants your time. What matters is the connection of the person, place or thing to God's purpose for your life.  

With that said, in either case, whether you have chosen to spend your days interacting with toddlers or interacting with adults, working in or outside of your home can present a challenge to finding & maintaining the proper balance. 

So, here are a few tips that I have found helpful on my quest to balance home, work, ministry & ME:

• Self-Awareness
• Make sure that your approach to your goals & aspirations is never a result of a void or an unfulfilled area that you are attempting to fill through achievement.  Certainly, a successful career, a self-owned business or several educational degrees can be very rewarding, but none of these things will fulfill you completely.  Only a relationship with God that provides a healthy self-perception will give your life full and complete meaning & purpose. 
• Priorities, Boundaries & Expectations
• Set defined priorities, boundaries & realistic expectations.  There may be times when you’ll have to work late, travel or put in extra effort. However, you should master the ability to “leave” work (physically & mentally) and focus your full attention at home. Technology has made this more difficult, but when purpose defines your priorities, you have the power to decide when it can wait.
• Time Management
• Learn to think of time the way you think of money & budgeting. Just like your financial budget, you should develop a time budget.  After you have defined your priorities, you should allocate an adequate amount of time to each. If you don't give each priority the necessary time, this will cause problems because there will be areas that are lacking. Likewise, if you spend more time than you’ve allocated on any one area, other areas will go lacking. Note: always make sure that YOU are listed as the #1 priority.
• Single Moms: Build a single-mom network
• If you are single, develop a strong network of other single moms where you can share time, ideas and responsibilities through co-ops, carpools, etc.  I was a single mom for a while, and I can tell you that it was one of the toughest jobs I've ever had. Thankfully, I had a network of friends that I could rely on because we had a common battle.
• Married Ladies: Ask for your Husband's Partnership & Buy-in
• Be transparent with your husband about what you can reasonably handle and ask for his help. You will need a strong partnership in order to manage all of your responsibilities. You can not do everything by yourself.  You are not required to be super woman in order to feel like a good wife and mother.  
• Share your goals with your husband as well as your plan to get there. As much as possible, project the obstacles and challenges that may be presented and then ask him for support and help in tackling those together. 
• Develop realistic expectations & commitments with your husband about the responsibilities of cooking, cleaning and managing the kids.  A great deal of imbalance is a result of women trying to do everything at home after putting in a full day's work.  
• Give your husband full liberty to share any concerns about your goals and the impact on your home.  If your husband feels neglected or impacted adversely because of the demands of your goals, do not diminish or discount them.  Listen attentively with the sole purpose of understanding his perspective.  Do not become defensive.  Instead, discuss ways that you both can compromise so that each of your needs are met.

Achieving work life balance is possible!  If you’ve been unbalanced recently, take a step back to determine how you spend your time.  You have been given all of the time, energy and resources that you need in order to accomplish God’s purpose in your life.  Ask Him to expose you to the areas where you need to reallocate your priorities and time.

And lastly….

To those ladies who have chosen to work inside your home, we celebrate YOU!

And….

To those ladies who have chosen to work outside of your home, we celebrate YOU!

YOU ROCK!

What's your name?

Thoughts from my quiet time with Isaiah 34:1
I am Redeemed...mistakes and all...I am His!

One of the greatest journeys a woman can embark upon in her life is self-discovery. It's a fun journey. However, it can be a daunting task at times because true discovery requires a level of transparency and courage to admit certain truths about yourself.

To do that, we must first remove the masks, strip away the images, tear down the walls, give up false identities, expose our real fears, shed other people's perception of us and most importantly, stop with the fakeness. Is that a word? I've been with my husband so long that I, too, have started creating words. Oh well. You get the point. :-)

On my journey, I've learned that self discovery involves two things:
1) acceptance of who you truly are;
2) acceptance of where you truly are.

Guess what? Who you are is actually the easy part! As women, we struggle with this when we are disconnected from the true source of our identity. There is only one place to find it, but when you are disconnected, you'll look AND find your identity in all sorts of places: men, MEN, mennnnnn...hey did I say men???... children, career titles, ministry titles...you name it. There is no end to the list of people, places & things that attempt to define women, womanhood, beauty, femininity, etc.

 But the surest and safest place to find out who you are is with the one who created you. You are His. He has redeemed you. Mistakes and all, He has redeemed you and called you by name. You are important to Him. The things you care about are important to Him.  Don't believe me? Just ask Him. Sometimes, it can seem as if He is not listening or that He has somehow fallen asleep on your journey, but I assure you, He is well aware and you are not forgotten.

Another important aspect of discovering who you are is developing a high level of self-awareness. We must become so acquainted and accepting of where we truly are that we are honest and unafraid to expose our truth to a trusted friend and accountability partner.  You need courage to admit where you are versus where you'd like to be or where you like people to think you are.

The only person we deceive when we are not honest is ourselves. Our truths play out in how we behave and are easily observable by others. We only successfully hide them from ourselves.

Have you ever thought you had grown in an area only to find out you had not when faced with a situation that showed you differently? I certainly have. It's not pleasant.

The last part of self-awareness is the fun part! Discovering your special and unique skills, talents, abilities, likes, dislikes, & preferences, and choosing to accept and engage them regularly. If you don't know what these are yet, that's okay. Find a friend that you trust to be completely honest with you and then ask them these three questions:

• Describe 3 things that are unique about me?
• In what ways do I add value to our relationship?
• What are the things that I do well?

You should see some overlap in these answers. This is not the end all of who you are, but its a good first step towards uncovering the things that are special about you. Once you do that, write down three ways that you will celebrate and engage those things on a weekly basis.

Personally, working in the corporate world, I have had the opportunity to take several assessments that have helped uncover my personality, work/life style and other preferences. Some examples of helpful assessments are Myers-Briggs, DiSC and How to Fascinate.  While, all of these things are geared towards helping professionals become self aware, they have helped me to increase my self-awareness in my overall lifestyle because they enhance your ability to become comfortable with yourself and your style as well as give you pointers for adapting your style where necessary to interact with others. There is no greater place to use this knowledge that HOME!

Here are a few things that I've discovered about myself:

• I'm introverted.
• I'm objective & analytical.
• I love coaching & mentoring.
• I prefer staying home with my husband vs going out.
• I prefer spending time with 1 or 2 friends vs a crowd.
• I prefer a simple look for fashion, accessories & makeup.
• I'm a planner who does not like interruptions to my carefully planned schedule. I'm okay with spontaneity but only when planned ahead of time. :-)

Once I learned these things about myself, do you know what I discovered? I like ME! I both like myself the way I am today, and I'm excited to meet the new and improved me that I will become tomorrow and the next day. It's so exciting! I'm enjoying this journey of self discovery! It's hilarious at times to look back over my process and think to myself: "wow did I really do that? did I wear that? did I say that?" Then I shake my head, laugh at myself and keep it moving!  No time to waste on the past except to learn from it. The more I learn about myself, the more free I become. The more free I become, the less I invest in the perceptions of others as a source of definition for myself. 

So, since HE has called me by name, this is who I am. Hi! My name is Nicole Dawson.

What's YOUR name?

10 Ways a Woman can become her own #1 Fan....

I've heard from so many woman that finding time and ways to celebrate themselves is easier said than done. Don't I know it!? As a wife and mom with full-time commitments to work and ministry, finding time to acknowledge that I even exist and have needs is a challenge, much less finding time to actually attend to those needs.  Can you relate?  So what can we do about it? I'd like to share some of the ways I practice self-care, and I'd like to hear your ideas. It's important to share with each other because there is more than likely another sister in your situation who is wondering where/how to begin to celebrate herself as well.    

I'd recommend taking small steps and making small changes progressively. My list is not comprehensive. It is just what works for me. Here are my ideas! Please feel free to share your ideas. I can't wait!

1. Free yourself from the guilt of putting yourself first. The idea that giving first to myself THEN to my husband, family, friends, ministry, or work was a struggle for me initially.  What I learned was that the source of the struggle was fear/insecurity.  Their "need" for me and my attention to their needs gave me a sense of identity, purpose and significance.   This ultimately led to a lack of balance at home, work and ministry.  However, I've learned that purpose and significance comes from God first, not because of what I do for Him, but simply because of who I am to Him.  HE validates who I am and gives my life meaning so that validation from others is never needed. Out of that flows everything else I need (time, energy, resources) to serve the people and assignments in my life.
2. Never compare yourself to another woman.  Other women are meant to inspire us and empower us. You were created as God's masterpiece, beautifully and wonderfully made. Don't you dare suggest to God that who he created in YOU is somehow not good enough because you were not created like someone else.  
3. Say NO, without apology, remorse or explanation. If you don't want to do it, say No. If you just don't feel up to it, say No. If you don't have time, say No. If you'd rather stay home, say No.   And do not feel the need to validate your decision with an explanation. "No" is a complete sentence. You don't have to say, "No, I can't because...." If the answer is no, then the answer is simply: No
4. Speak up. Do not allow yourself to be coerced or manipulated.  State your position or preference. Grow out of saying these statements: "It doesn't matter." "Whatever you want." "Wherever you want to go is fine." "It's up to you." Sometimes, it might be true. Most times, it is not.  It's okay to say exactly what you want/prefer or not. 
5. Forgive yourself & others.  Whatever mistakes you made are in the past. They do not define you. Today is always a good time to do something different.  You may not be able to completely start over, but you can always start right where you are and make a different decision. Likewise, holding on to others' mistakes is like building a prison for yourself and sitting inside with the key in your hand. Unlock your own prison and be free.
6. Acknowledge and accept your flaws.  Whatever they are, become acquainted with your flaws/weaknesses and accept them as a part of you FOR NOW. Life is a process of growth and maturity. Where you are right now is not where you'll be forever if you keep growing! 
7. Respect yourself. Develop a standard of how you will be treated by others and institute a zero tolerance policy. Do not tolerate mistreatment from anyone and that includes YOURSELF. Treat yourself with the utmost care and respect. Require others to do so also.
8. Develop an opinion and do not be afraid to share it. Be aware of what's going on in the world and develop well-supported opinions. Be prepared to defend your position while being open to new information and ideas that could expand, enhance or even change your thinking.  Be capable of participating in conversations, but develop the wisdom to know when and how.
9. Find YOUR favorite things to do and engage them frequently.  Whether its spending time out with friends or staying home to read a good book or painting/drawing or shopping (within budget, of course). Discover your hobbies and schedule time WITH YOURSELF to engage them uninterrupted.  The kids will be okay if they cannot talk to you for a while. Your husband will survive without your undivided attention. Make a point to find ways and make time to do the things that give you energy, peace and joy. 
10. Don't take yourself too seriously.  (This is my favorite!) Learn to laugh at yourself. Be goofy with your friends. Have fun! Be yourself at all times and always, ALWAYS believe that you are good enough.  This is hard for women at times because we are always striving to be a good wife, good mom, good daughter, good sister, good friend, good worker...and the list goes on. Remember that you are good because of WHO YOU ARE not because of what you do.  If the little ones don't get a home cooked meal tonight with 3 servings of organic fruits and vegetables or if you can't make it to your grandchild's recital or if you don't feel up to having dinner with your girlfriend this weekend, it's okay!  A friend of mine recently returned to the corporate world after staying home for several years caring for her young daughter. After her first week on the job, I knew she was struggling so I sent her this:

Picture source: jessieclemence.com

See, you're a good WOMAN! Let's CELEBRATE!

Beyond the Garden in 2016!

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you had a great 2015 and are looking forward to a fresh start for 2016.  As the first full week of the year approaches, its a good time to think about what you want to accomplish this year. If you've not already done so, write your goals down and keep them readily available for review throughout the year. Share them with a friend and/or accountability partner to help you stay on track.  I hope you'll also share your goals with me so that we can hold each other accountable.

One of one of my goals this year is to restart this blog and be more intentional about sharing my life and journey with others.  So that you can hold me accountable, here is my plan:

• Be consistent in posting - at least 3x per week
• Expand the content of the blog - not only will I share devotionals, personal insight from my quiet time, Sunday message recaps and more faith-focused content, I'd also like to share life in general.  I believe life is made better when we have other women to whom we can relate and with whom we can share life's journey. Here is some of what you can expect to see on the blog this year:
• Faith - because what is my life without Jesus as the foundation?! A hot mess! This year my faith goal is to grow spiritually in these areas: 
• Self-Awareness
• Self-Confidence
• Self-Control
• Emotional balance & management
• Gratefulness & thanksgiving
• Femininity - except for a few days out of the month, I absolutely love everything about being a woman! Let's celebrate womanhood together! Often times, we spend more time celebrating others without properly celebrating ourselves. We can't give to others what we haven't first given to ourselves. This year, I'm committing to being my #1 fan! Will you make this one of your goals and commit to this with me? Remember, it's okay to Celebrate YOU!
• Fitness - when I think of fitness, my mind automatically starts with but I LOVE FOOD. There, I have admitted it. I love all things food, but I also love being healthy. There is a balance that can be maintained if you are purposeful about it. I've learned that my discipline in the area of food directly parallels my discipline in my overall life. In order to accomplish my goals and walk out my purpose in life, I need a healthy mind, body & spirit. Proper health & wellness is a critical part of personal self-care. You must get adequate sleep, maintain a balanced diet and incorporate moderate exercise into your LIFESTYLE at least 3 times per week. I'll share ways we can do this together!
• Family - I love being a wife & a mother! Look for posts about my efforts to navigate and maintain a proper balance between work-life, wife-life & mom-life. (whew! writing that just wore my out! time for a nap!) 
• Friendships - as an Introvert, I am naturally inclined to be inward-focused. I gather energy when I'm alone. I spend it when I'm with others. Because of that, people often assume that I'm unfriendly or that I don't like people or friends. That couldn't be more untrue! I love girlfriends, girl-time, girl-talk (well maybe more like girl-texts and girl-pin-sharing lol)...basically, I love the unique bond and love shared in true friendships.  I just go about it differently than others, namely extroverts.  I've been blessed with some of the most beautiful friendships I've every known, and I cherish my sisters and those women that I know I can call a true friend.  But I've also experienced my share of hurt and disappointment in relationships.  I'm sure you have as well. If we aren't careful, the enemy would love to convince us that women can't have healthy friendships. You see it played out every day on reality t.v. shows.  I'd love to prove the enemy and the world wrong! Will you join me?
• Fashion, Hair & Makeup - this is an area that is also a part of my overall goals. Self-care is an an absolute MUST for self love, and self love is an absolute MUST for a healthy self-esteem.  It's okay to pamper yourself, spoil yourself, and adore what you see in the mirror. Many of you know that I've been on a 2.5 year natural hair journey. I'm almost there, but even after 2.5 years, I STILL have relaxer in my hair! ugh! I want to cut it so bad but my hubby is a fan of long hair and I'm a fan of him being a fan of my long hair, soooo, if he likes it, I love it. :-) Likewise, I LOVE fashion. My style icons are the First Ladies, Michelle O. & Jackie O.  However, all too often, I look in my closet and think to myself: I have nothing in here that I want to wear. Thankfully, I've started to follow fashion bloggers on Pinterest and Instagram that have helped me de-stress about getting dressed.  Join me this year as I work to simplify my wardrobe, add character, colors/prints and remixable items that adequately express my person and purpose.  Here is my simplistic look from today:

Dress, Belt & Bag (Dooney&Bourke): Macy's
Boots: Nine West
Cardigan: J.Crew Factory

So there you have it! I've just shared my 2016 goals. If you're ready to work, then I can't wait to tackle this year with you.  No matter what the year holds, I'm certain that we will handle it LIKE a BOSS together! Let's do it!