The quest for Work~Life balance!

As we continue our theme of self-discovery, I find it pertinent to cover an area that often gives women a frustrating challenge.

The ever elusive
Work/Life Balance

If you have been afforded the wonderful opportunity to stay home and raise your children full-time, you should fully embrace your decision to invest your gifts & talents into being the CEO of your home.  Arguably, work/life balance can be even more challenging when your work & home life are one! If you have chosen to work outside of the home, then you should fully embrace your decision to utilize the gifts & talents you were given to pursue your dreams.

As a woman who works outside of the home, I’ve had my share of struggles with managing my responsibilities at home, work and ministry in a manner that provides the necessary attention to each of these areas as well as to my own personal needs.  What I’ve learned is that without keeping these things in the right balance, you're left with feelings of guilt, selfishness, insecurity, and inadequacy.

In a previous post about ways to become your own #1 fan (read here), the first thing I mention is freedom from condemnation and guilt.  You should never feel guilty for having ambitions and career or educational goals.  Wanting a successful career does not make you any less of a woman, wife, or mother.

Neither does putting in the hard work and extra effort to become successful mean that your family has to take a back seat.  Nevertheless, many women struggle to find and maintain the right balance between their own personal goals of education, career & entrepreneurship and their responsibilities in their home as a wife and/or mother.

Maintaining balance is not a matter of allocating equal time to the priorities in your life. Rather, it is a matter of allocating adequate time to the priorities in your life. Adequate time is defined and allocated according to purpose. It is not defined by the person, place or thing itself. So, it doesn't matter who or what it is that wants your time. What matters is the connection of the person, place or thing to God's purpose for your life.  

With that said, in either case, whether you have chosen to spend your days interacting with toddlers or interacting with adults, working in or outside of your home can present a challenge to finding & maintaining the proper balance. 

So, here are a few tips that I have found helpful on my quest to balance home, work, ministry & ME:

• Self-Awareness
• Make sure that your approach to your goals & aspirations is never a result of a void or an unfulfilled area that you are attempting to fill through achievement.  Certainly, a successful career, a self-owned business or several educational degrees can be very rewarding, but none of these things will fulfill you completely.  Only a relationship with God that provides a healthy self-perception will give your life full and complete meaning & purpose. 
• Priorities, Boundaries & Expectations
• Set defined priorities, boundaries & realistic expectations.  There may be times when you’ll have to work late, travel or put in extra effort. However, you should master the ability to “leave” work (physically & mentally) and focus your full attention at home. Technology has made this more difficult, but when purpose defines your priorities, you have the power to decide when it can wait.
• Time Management
• Learn to think of time the way you think of money & budgeting. Just like your financial budget, you should develop a time budget.  After you have defined your priorities, you should allocate an adequate amount of time to each. If you don't give each priority the necessary time, this will cause problems because there will be areas that are lacking. Likewise, if you spend more time than you’ve allocated on any one area, other areas will go lacking. Note: always make sure that YOU are listed as the #1 priority.
• Single Moms: Build a single-mom network
• If you are single, develop a strong network of other single moms where you can share time, ideas and responsibilities through co-ops, carpools, etc.  I was a single mom for a while, and I can tell you that it was one of the toughest jobs I've ever had. Thankfully, I had a network of friends that I could rely on because we had a common battle.
• Married Ladies: Ask for your Husband's Partnership & Buy-in
• Be transparent with your husband about what you can reasonably handle and ask for his help. You will need a strong partnership in order to manage all of your responsibilities. You can not do everything by yourself.  You are not required to be super woman in order to feel like a good wife and mother.  
• Share your goals with your husband as well as your plan to get there. As much as possible, project the obstacles and challenges that may be presented and then ask him for support and help in tackling those together. 
• Develop realistic expectations & commitments with your husband about the responsibilities of cooking, cleaning and managing the kids.  A great deal of imbalance is a result of women trying to do everything at home after putting in a full day's work.  
• Give your husband full liberty to share any concerns about your goals and the impact on your home.  If your husband feels neglected or impacted adversely because of the demands of your goals, do not diminish or discount them.  Listen attentively with the sole purpose of understanding his perspective.  Do not become defensive.  Instead, discuss ways that you both can compromise so that each of your needs are met.

Achieving work life balance is possible!  If you’ve been unbalanced recently, take a step back to determine how you spend your time.  You have been given all of the time, energy and resources that you need in order to accomplish God’s purpose in your life.  Ask Him to expose you to the areas where you need to reallocate your priorities and time.

And lastly….

To those ladies who have chosen to work inside your home, we celebrate YOU!

And….

To those ladies who have chosen to work outside of your home, we celebrate YOU!

YOU ROCK!