Emotional Intoxication

in•tox•i•ca•tion
1. inebriation; drunkenness.
2. an act or instance of intoxicating.
3. overpowering exhilaration or excitement of the mind or emotions.

Me: Did I REALLY do that?
Myself: Yep. I did.
I: {sigh} Some day I'm going to get these emotions under control.

So goes the conversation that I have with myself after sobering up from an extreme emotional overdose. I'm talking about those times when I'm so consumed with how something feels (good or bad) that I just let go and do/say WHATEVER I feel in the moment. Then afterwards, I have one of those "morning after" moments from the past when I would wake up from a drunken sleep only to face what I did the night before. Can you relate? :-)

It is a very similar case for many of us and our emotions. If we are not careful, we can allow ourselves to be so overtaken by how we feel that we become intoxicated with the raw emotions and let go of control. Notice I didn't say "lose control" as if we have no power over the matter. We CHOOSE to let go. And I dont know about you, but back in the day, I did and said alot of things while intoxicated that I later regretted. But in the moment, because of how it felt, I didn't care or even consider what the consequences would be. And the more I allowed myself to become intoxicated, the lower my inhibititons would fall and the more reckless my words or actions became. The same is true of our emotions.

Without the proper self control powered by the Holy Spirit, any situation (or person) that has the ability to "touch" your emotions also has the power to intoxicate you if you allow yourself to focus too much on how it feels. And nothing makes me cringe with embarrassment more than remembering an emotion-laced decision. Whether it was words spoken harshly & carelessly in the heat of the moment, a dude that I found myself caught up with because "he made me feel beautiful" or money spent on something frivilous knowing I had bills to pay. In every case, it was my responsibility to control my behavior, and where I failed, there was only myself to blame. Several times I've tried to blame someone else for my lack of self-control. I mean surely if my husband wouldn't push my buttons I wouldn't lose it right??? Surely if that dude leaves you alone, you can leave him alone right?? Wrong and wrong!! Ugh. Oh yes...I feel you.

So I've been on this journey of learning and practicing emotional self-control.  Will you join me?  In doing so, I've had to start with admitting certain truths about my emotional disposition. I thought I'd share them with you in the hopes that they will help in your personal quest to conquer the emotional beast within. :-)

1. My emotions are stronger than I think.
2. My emotions distort my ability to accurately assess a situation.
3. My emotions are not all bad.
4. My emotions are not all good.
5. How I feel is not always how things truly are. Just because I feel it does not make it true.
6. How I feel is not always a result of what is going on immediately in front of me. Sometimes my past experiences influence how I feel about the current situation.
7. My emotions are overwhelmingly convincing yet overwhelmingly deceptive.
8. I always regret emotional decisions.
9. It's my responsibility to exercise self control in the face of high emotion situations. I need to stop blaming others. It's ME!
10. If I fail to exercise self control, it is my fault and no one else's.
11. Now matter how it feels, I always have a choice.
12. God is powerful enough to keep me when my emotions threaten to take over. But He will not fight me for contraol. I have to let Him have control over my emotions.
13. Controlling my emotions takes practice.
14. God will give me PLENTY of opportunities to practice.
15. I can't always control how I feel but I can control how I respond to what I feel.
16. Getting someone else's input is valuable in separating truth from feelings. A close friend can help you make the distinction between what is really true versus what is really a matter of how you feel.
17. When my emotions are provoked it literally feels like I am trying to control an F5 tornado inside of me just begging to cause destruction
18. God gave me emotions for a reason. To nurture, care, comfort and nourish others. Not to destroy them or myself.
19. Without a strong relationship with God and the leading of the Holy Spirit my emotions will destroy my life.
20. I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me, including and especially controlling my emotions.

Proverbs 25:28 

Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.

Stay alert!

In my Christianity, I never wanted to be one of those Christians that was always asking God for something. "God help me pay this bill." "Help me stop this or start that." "Bless me with this thing or that person" (I can't be the only one whose prayed that prayer). I considered myself one of those "strong Christians" that only needed God to handle the "big stuff." (How arrogant is that?) The truth is that there is nothing more dangerous to your relationship with God than self-reliance (in any area). When we believe that "we got this" we often find out the hard way how much we do not.

Have you ever failed in an area where you just KNEW you had been delivered?

What happens is that when we think we've overcome a certain thing, we start to give ourselves credit for the deliverance, rather than God, and then walk in pride (which we often try to mask as self-confidence).

"Oh, I'm past THAT!"
"I will NEVER do that again!
"I am SO over him!"

Sound familiar? But think about how many times you have had to recant one of those statements. The truth is that it is God who delivers us and we need Him to STAY delivered. We will never be in a place, no matter how removed we are from some things, that we don't need God to stay removed. Without Him, we will go back and we will do it again. We will get in the same financial bind. We will wake up with the same dude (or a different one). We will gain all the weight back. We will start making emotion driven decisions yet again. In essence, we will revert to what we are accustomed to doing when faced with a new level of challenge, if we take our deliverance for granted and do not make a conscious effort to continually seek God to stay delivered in Him.

Now don't get me wrong, there are some things that, as we mature in God, they will lose their ability to tempt us to return. But make no mistake, that is not because YOU have become so strong that you cannot be tempted. It is ONLY because you have allowed the SPIRIT of God to rule in that area of your life, and the Spirit in you is stronger than the temptation. At any point where you start to believe that "YOU got this," rather than "God got this," God will allow the enemy to show you otherwise. And no matter how mature you "think" you are, faced with the right temptation and an out of balance relationship with God, you are likely to revert back once again.

So, where God has delivered you, stay humble and always only give HIM the glory for your deliverance. Take none for yourself and do not take your deliverance for granted. It is not you who has overcome. It is God in you! So stay alert. The enemy is always lurking close by, trying to figure out how he can destroy you. Stay sober and stay strong in the Lord. You are only as delivered as your current obedience represents. When your obedience ends, so will your deliverance.

Have a great weekend!

Live Blessed!

Notes from my quiet time

Have you ever messed up really bad? I mean like really REALLY bad? The kind of mess up where you have no idea how you'll get out of it or make it through it because it's just THAT bad. And to make matters worse, you have no idea if God even hears your prayers for forgiveness after you've just turned your back and disobeyed Him or better yet whether or not you've all but cancelled the promises He made to you, but the enemy is loud and clear constantly reminding you day after day just how BAD you messed up!!! I'm glad you're here. God has a message for you!

"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace."Ephesians 1:4-7.

Did you catch that? He chose you from the beginning. You cannot earn His love by your good works. You did not earn His love on the day you finally gave up your old life and chose Him as your Savior. And you did NOT lose it on the day you messed up. He chose to love you from the beginning! He chose to cover your life with Grace from the beginning! He chose to forgive you from the beginning! He chose to die for you despite the sin you commit (yes, that sin too!) He chose to prepare a future destiny for you filled with an abundance of every good thing. He chose to call you His own and to cover your life with the riches of His grace. He redeemed you from the penalty of sin.There is no mistake so bad that He cannot redeem you, forgive you and cover you by His Grace.

"Isaiah 53:5 for he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:5

And unlike the enemy who torments you with reminders of your sin, as far as the east is from the west, He has removed our transgressions from before us. Psalm 103:12

So my sister you can be free from the guilt of your mistakes. You can be free from the shame, condemnation, and depression that naturally follows. These are works of the enemy! Conviction of the Holy Spirit leads to acknowledgment of your sins and changed behavior. We cannot continue in sin and live in Grace, but we can live in Grace and have our sins forgiven as we learn and grow in our relationship with God. 2 Corinthians 7:10 explains that Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorry (guilt, shame, etc) leads to death. This is why the enemy works so hard to remind you of your mistakes. You can literally die (spiritually) from the overwhelming weight of condemnation from your mistakes. But because God loves you so much, He goes to great lengths to remind you that His grace is sufficient to cover even the worst of your mistakes.

"I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sin no more." Isaiah 43:25."

"Jesus, lifting himself up and seeing no one but the woman, said unto her, Woman, where are your accusers? Has no one condemned thee?And she said, No one, Lord. Then Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more. John 8:10, 11."

So, my sister, I speak freedom into your life today. No longer will you be condemned by the mistakes of your past. No longer will you hold your head down in shame. No longer will you be a prisoner of depression or guilt, but you are free in Jesus name, and you will LIVE free in the Grace of God that covers your life.

"Psalm 32:1 blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sin is covered." Live Blessed!