This is who I am.



Notes from my quiet time....

As I was poring over a passage of scripture this morning J, the Lord really dealt with me in a powerful way as He asked me a question that I was hesitant to answer.  I ran from this question because it was a question I struggled with for some time and answering required a renewed commitment in every area.  The question comes from John 1:21-22 (NIV):

“They asked him, “Then who are you? Are you Elijah?” He said, “I am not.” “Are you the Prophet?”  He answered, “No.”  Finally they said, “Who are you? Give us an answer to take back to those who sent us. What do you say about yourself?”

I made this passage applicable to my own life as I meditated & pondered the questions. At first glance, I thought these questions would be simple and easy to answer. But as I thought about the passage more deeply, I began to dig deeper inside of myself to unearth certain myths that God has helped me to disprove.  Almost three years ago I married my best friend. He is a charismatic, magnetic, extroverted, dynamic, ultimate all people person.  I couldn’t be more opposite. An introverted, reserved, conservative intimate relationship person is who he married.  So for a great deal of time I inwardly battled the feeling of not measuring up to the expectation of being just like him.  And to make matters worse, he is a Pastor, which meant I had also become a first lady. The pressure was on. Not only was it difficult in my mind to measure up to my magnetically lovable husband, I also had the added internal battle of measuring up to the expectations of being a first lady.  It was a losing battle that I struggled emotionally and spiritually trying to fight.  There were days when I battled extreme fatigue and discouragement and the enemy did his best to convince me that I should just quit.

Thank God for His love and liberty that set me FREE!

So, what do I say about myself and who do I say that I am? Well, I’m so glad you asked! J Honey, let me tell you exactly who I am by first telling you who I am not. I am not Byron Dawson and I am not a First Lady! Whew! That feels so good to say! Now here’s what you can take back to them that ask:

·   I am a woman determined to live for God no matter what. No matter how difficult. No matter the sacrifice. No matter the commitment. No matter the challenge. No matter the battle.  I’ve spent a lot of years living for myself and others.  I am determined now, more than ever before, to live for God.  Above all things, I want to be found in His will and pleasing to Him no matter what.

·   I am a woman with divine purpose. I am one of a kind, and I was created especially unique on purpose. God has given me something that this world and more specifically those connected to me absolutely must have and cannot live without.

·   I am a wife who is submitted under the authority, covering and leadership of my husband. I am committed to being his helper, his counselor, his pray warrior, his best friend, his girlfriend, his lover, his safe place, his reason to come home, his sharpening iron, his bible girl….HIS.

·   I am a mother who loves her kids and who is committed to train them in Godly principles. I have the best kids on earth. Not because they are perfect. But because they are God's.

·   I am a minister of women. Not minister the title.  Minister the verb: attend to the needs of; to take care of.  God has specifically assigned me to serve and attend to the needs of women.  One of the greatest needs of today’s woman is identity protection.  If a woman can become convinced of who she is in God, she will live like it and change her world.  The enemy knows that and he does everything in his power to rob women of their true identity (value, worth, esteem, standard, etc). It is my desire and passion to spend the rest of my life telling women who they are and equipping them to protect their identity at all cost. 

This is who I am. Who are you?